Ramblings of a Sheriff: That Weekly Chore That Never Gets Easier

To make this easier on me, I've decided to do a post once here with all my #FF's. I'll update it as often as I update my Twitter List, but here you'll find the always important why you should follow them. Each one of these people are worth watching, so appease the Sheriff and do so.

In addition, to make things even easier on you, some users have an aesterik beside their name. If you follow my stories and plots, you really should follow those users, or you'll never get the full story. Trust me when I say you'll want it.

@YieldtoMe - The very reason I'm on Twitter at all. The RP'ers who have been brought together by YTM are literate, creative, talented, friendly, and possibly the most important thing, original. No storylines go stale, and you can catch up on all their gossip here.

*@SheriffNorthman and my jail account @SheriffN2. If you're not already, there's seriously something wrong with you. Don't make me have to drain you.

*@LaylaDarshan - My daytime person, my seer, and my twice-bonded human, Layla has been the reason I've gotten out of more than a few tough situations. She's blunt, beautiful, and struts like no one else.

*@RomanLucious - My Deputy, my partner-in-crime, my brother in blood, THE Romanfail, and the victim of many 50 second jokes well deserved, undead life would be nearly boring without him around for me to punch/kick/bludgeon on a very regular basis.

*@SookieYTM - The frustrating yet intriguing telepathic waitress in my unlife. Loyal to a fault but twice bonded to me, half the fun is in the chase.

*@LaceyStripped - My favorite human who isn't my own, she calls me kinkypire and I am proud to call her my future child. She's honest to a fault, not afraid of speaking her mind, loves sex, and isn't afraid of getting her hands dirty... and that's while she's still human. Add her backup as well at @FunSizeLT2.

*@pamiravenscroft - My opionated, troublemaking child. She never hesitates to offer an unasked for, sarcastic view of any situation and constantly refuses to learn her lesson. To say she keeps me on my toes would be quite the understatement.

*@Fangtasia_Queen - The Yahtzee-addicted Queen of the Kingdom of Louisiana, I'm loyal to her through and through and will remain so.

The Crane triplets, @ClaudiaCrane, @ClaudeCrane, and @claudine_fairy. Though I may be constantly fighting the urge to drain them, they're really nice to look at. Minus Claude. That fruity fairy just frightens me.

*@BiancaNorthman - My child, my sometimes lover, and possibly my best friend if I have such a thing, Bianca is a combination of beauty, elegance, sarcasm, and bitchiness, and she'll make no apologies whatsoever for it. And, if that isn't reason enough, I know what is. Her booty bounce is legendary.

@QueenBlackwood - The elegant and mysterious Queen of the Kingdoms of California and Nevada. Gabrielle has been a vampire since Rome burned, and our history is extensive. As a matter of fact, she fucked me when I was still a human.

@TeacherHalleigh - This human actually makes me wish at times I was a second grade student if only so I could eyefuck her all day long under the guise of learning. She's addicted to her mutt it seems, but her neck is just begging for me to bite it. I'd gladly take a detention with her for doing so...

*@NolanFerrior - My speedy, pipe-hanging newborn, Nolan traded turning furry every full moon in for a set of fangs and damn, does he put them to good use. He's impossible for me to keep track of, but I sure as hell try. Next time I have him in my clutches, I swear I'm getting that cowbell on his neck.

*@JessicaYTM - The newborn vampire of Bon Temps cursed to an eternity of having Bill Compton as her Maker. Who on earth wouldn't pity her for that?

@GrabbitKwik - The man, the myth, the legend, the Lieutenant. Dave used to be a boring pushover who's only walking on the wild side involved stealing my midget and sewing machine. Ever since he got infused with a demon though, Dave's been badass enough that I actually like him, and also applaud his desire to punch the Deputy. @EZ_Mart doesn't stand a fucking chance.

@AlyxConway - Dave's smoking hot wife, the Bon Temps baker, Alyx. She's got a crush on me and despite liking the Lieutenant, damn do I want to tap that. The basket she weaved under water before gifting it to me is the centerpiece of my coffee table and every time I see it, I have the urge to knit dirty berets.

*@BillComptonYTM - The Civil War relic, the wet blanket, and Sookie's "boyfriend," the only reason I think I tolerate (and tolerate might even be a bit extreme for how I feel about him) Compton is because it's fun to remind him he's ultimately my lackee to push around.

@SueMBillington - An extraordinary woman I am proud to call my friend, Sue is compassionate to all, even those who don't deserve it, generous, understanding, and accepting. She embraces everyone equally and always tries to see the good in people, even those who don't deserve it. To put it simply, she's exceptional.

*@DraculaYTM - It's freaking Dracula. Anyone who knows anything about me knows I have always been fascinated and dedicated to the vampire all undead revere as the Dark Prince and when he came to Louisiana, I could barely contain my excitement. Sure, he's come close to killing me half a dozen times and sure, he seems to really want to end the Deputy, but who the hell doesn't? He's diabolical, cruel, evil, dark, unfeeling, and a bastard. To put it simply, he's my idol.

The Weres and Shifters who plague my immortal existence way more often than every full moon, the original mutt, @AlcideJHerveaux, the bathroom befouler, @WereTDawson, JoAnna's pup, @were_lucian, Pam's bonded @WereKenzie, the original mutt's daddy, @WereHerveaux, and last and certainly least, the Wereass, @TomColt. Someone needs to get me a dozen silver bullets and a ton of Febreze.

@winnieYTM - One of the hot, bitch clerks from the @GrabbitKwik, Winnie may spend the full moons furry ever since she was on the receiving end of Mckenzie's bite, but no matter what, she's got the hottest ass in Area Five. Fact.

@NiftyJenny - Yet another one of the hot clerks the Lieutenant wisely surrounds himself with, Jenny wields one mean broom. I know, I've been on the receiving end of it's wrath. Still, she's got a #TwitterCrush on me and never hesitates to flash me just how I like.

While I'm covering those from the @GrabbitKwik, everyone should follow the other hot clerks, @JadeCalista and the obnoxious, annoying, but nice to look at @RoxySocks. Then there's @Crazy_JonBT, who I'm pretty sure lives there (and by there, I mean in a cardboard box out back), along with @EvilRaccoons, who have managed the impossible, and actually screwed my nose.

*@AbiStewart - This frequently blushing telekinetic has frustrated me in a way few humans could ever succeed in, but we are eternally bonded and she will always mean a great deal to me, even if she has godawful taste in men. I suppose someone has to find fat and lazy attractive... I wonder how Sven and Matilda are doing...

*@AppiusOcella - A member of the Roman Legion in life, my Maker is over 2000 years old and the very reason I am as I am today. His presence in Louisiana after many years apart is still somewhat surprising, not to mention a little unnerving. Appius nearly always has something he wishes to remind me of or some lesson to teach. The cost of such a learning experience can be nothing short of extreme.

*@VaughnBrennan - He called me "dude" one too many times and I killed him for it. My youngest child as of present, Vaughn is incredibly new to this existence, but is presently under the wing of my Maker. Each night I wonder if Appius will cause Vaughn's second death before I have a chance to figure out how I will get him returned to me.

The final word in punishment for the transgressions of the undead, @VampireMagister spends his nights teaching fucktards what happens when he's crossed... and it's not pretty. What is undeniably pretty, however, is his newborn, his companion, and his proof that even the oldest and most vicious of us can find love, @KaydenBellerose. They're a kinky team who knows no bounds, though I really doubt they're afraid of binding one another now and then.

*@sadiecartwright - A human with more than a few powerful (and somewhat threatening) gifts, "Salsa" is both vulnerable and a powerhouse. She's @DraculaYTM's reluctant human, bonded a few times over to the Deputy, a trouble magnet, and demon bait. Sometimes I'm surprised she manages to make it through the night, but I'm always glad she does.

There's nothing quite like a feisty, cake-making granny, and that's just what @MeeMawBellefleu is... when she's not sampling one of the mystery treats that come from @VampireStan, which undeniably make her quite the GILF. She's a Southern belle who wields a mean cane and he's got a bad case of "bed bugs," but they're a romance that defies time and age.

@cajunqueenlafa - He may be an enterprising fry cook at Merlotte's, but this bitch has had my blood and damn, does he let that show. With more attitude and narcotics than any human should be allowed, Lafayette eyefucks me even more than the fangbangers that flock to Fangtasia do... and that's really quite the accomplishment.

*@VampyJo - This newborn has attitude, arrogance, and a human-sized puppy to train, not to mention a tattoo of the Deputy's name across her ass for some bizarre reason I don't think I'll ever understand. With her Maker having recently met his end, she's presently under the Deputy's instruction and that has disaster written all over it, but boy, will it be fun to watch happen.

@LucAnthonyYTM - He works for humans, but at his core, I'm certain his loyalty is to me and the other vampires of Area Five. Okay, maybe all other vampires of Area Five except for the Deputy. This cop accepts trunk travel as something normal and even, for the most part, understands canoe travel. He's also arrested Roman twice, and that just makes me laugh aloud.

@_OliviaK - Olivia may not be my newborn's human any longer, but that doesn't make her any less significant to me. She's headstrong and stubborn and trying to pave her own way in this world after growing up in the lap of luxury. Majority owner of @KensingtonBB, she's got a lot on her plate, but that doesn't stop her from having more fun than most humans could ever imagine.

@VampNiklas & @TaliaPerrault - Niklas is one of the first vampire I made and despite being dead for over seven centuries, he has more life than many could ever fathom. His child and companion, Talia, has been with him for nearly his entire existence, making their love something exceptional to anyone and everyone who knows them.

@DakotaARyan - This young vampire has done a lot of growing up lately. Initially a selfish and often foolish servant of the Dark Prince, Dakota's been focused on surviving and maturing to simply make the Prince proud of her, something every vampire can understand. Her along with her best friend, @Misha_Stauffen, are just trying to find their place in this world... much to the dismay of @DraculaYTM.

@AvengingAngel1 - My favorite peeper, I hope she never grows tired of watching me shower. A fallen angel, stuck in this world until she makes a decision none could comprehend, Angel is a combination of beauty, wit, aggression, and torment. While you're at it, follow her best friend, @6Sixx6, Sixx's husband, @BobbyBurnham, and their zombie twins, @SixxsCrue as they help Angel find peace and understanding.

@Sookeh and @EmoEricNorthman - She's the evil one, and possibly my daughter and he watches chick flicks without regret while crying blood tears. They're perpetually on a rollercoaster, but it's really never a dull moment.

@AshleyDanielss - My former pet, she was always more trouble than she was a blessing, but for some reason, I am compassionate for this creature. Young and alone in the world, it's really only a matter of time before she winds up dead, but it's almost amusing watching so many humans actually wish an end upon her.

@LiamDelancy - I don't care much for witches, I never really have, but this witch makes Bianca happy, and for that, I will accept his frequent presence in my undead existence. He's probably the most ideal pet to a vampire that I know, which is somewhat surprising, but Bianca has really trained this one well.

@Elfie33 and @TheCelly - She's my favorite pixie and he's a Cajun who can keep up with her somehow, which can really be no easy feat. They're great together and bring a smile to my pale face.

Some of my favorite couples, @Blorio & @FaerieBik, @Ammerie_Vail & @James_Vail, @Brandon_Vegas & @Jax_Morrow, @CalienteChloe & @EricsButt, and @Were_Quinn & @WereBaylee.

@Lady_Cris - She finds the Lieutenant and I infinitely amusing and laughs until she cries over Dave's misadventures with my midget. She may fall when pole dancing at Fangtasia, but she's one of my favorite breathers who never fails to flatter me just as much as I deserve to be.

@werekai - She's my #WILF and the eye candy ninja. She may not be in need of a pimp anymore, but that's not going to stop me from tag team nomming her once I've turned Lacey (I call the femoral!).

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