My First Thanksgiving Dinner

Friday evening, @BarmaidSookie and I hosted what I am told is a traditional Thanksgiving dinner. While I have been well aware of the holiday for many, many years, it is the first time in my long existence I have- in Sookie’s words- hosted such an event myself. My reasoning for ignoring a holiday that seems focused on human food and poultry in buckle hats has been obvious in the past, but once more I find my normal behavior being altered for the gift that is Sookie.

What is important to her is undeniably important to me, and that includes bizarre holidays of thanks.

From the moment Sookie asked if we could host the event together onward, my telepath had been focused upon little else. Between making invitations, getting them out to all our friends, and preparing an endless supply of both human nourishments and blood dishes, my lover exhausted herself in order to be the consummate southern hostess.

I must admit, I was dreading the event when I rose on Friday night. Since the incident at @BarWithABite and the witches, I have been going out of my way to avoid others. My body is still regenerating in some places and I know I am not entirely myself both physically and mentally. I fear others will see this and know, and though I do not like to believe that any I or Sookie consider a “friend” would use this to their advantage, I remained concerned. Being cautious is what has kept my existence in tact for a thousand years, after all.

Sookie seemed to sense my trepidation immediately. She ceased buzzing about her farm house in order to assure me things would be fine, and once more, I found myself relaxing if only because of her nearness and the comfort she brings me. It startles me, but I find myself believing I could come to love this rare and extraordinary human woman.

There was little time for me to think of that, however, when our guests began arriving for the evening. @RomanLucious, his fairy, @FaeKayley, and their adopted son, @Baby_Abel were the first to arrive for the night. It was obvious immediately that they were no more familiar with the holiday than I was, but I appreciated the fact that they were attending if only for my Lover. As Sookie showed them to the absurd amount of food she had concocted for the evening, @LaceyTB, @JackDanielsTB, and @WestonTackett arrived.

It was the first time I have seen Lacey since she had been lost to me and I must admit, it was a relief to see her whole and not merely a figment of my imagination. I do not understand what possibly could have occurred to return her to this realm and to those who care for her, but I am nothing short of relieved that it did. My blood may no longer tie us together, but Lacey will never cease to be precious to me, and seeing both her and her son brings an undeniably comfort with it.

Of course, not everyone seems to feel that way.

I had avoided speaking of Lacey’s miraculous return to this realm to the Deputy after first discovering it for myself if only because I did not know how the news would be received. When Roman first told me of Abel and his relationship with the fairy, a part of me was undeniably concerned he was attempting to replace what had been lost in the car accident that fateful night and that was what was guiding his decisions. After learning more of his son and his fairy, I believed Roman seemed- for him- relatively happy. To disrupt that for what could not be changed would have been a crime.

And ultimately, even a meddlesome vampire such as myself can recognize when something is not my place.

There was no hiding what Roman did not know then, however, and awkward moments were not quick to pass. The Deputy was troubled and angry, I could feel this easily enough, and Lacey was startled and hurt. I was unsurprised that the Deputy departed shortly after the night began. Centuries of existence and experience does not automatically create aplomb.

Little time could be devoted to thinking on such things when more guests were arriving. Sookie seemed perpetually trapped at the doorway of her house as she welcomed guest after guest to her Bon Temps farmhouse. It was the first time I had seen @AbigaleDawson since her wedding to @WereTDawson, who seems to have decided married life is an excuse to gain obnoxious amounts of weight. If I were less educated and knowledgeable on such things, I would have asked if he was with child. It seems fences are suiting them well, and if Abigale is happy, I am happy for her. I really don’t care whether the mutt is happy or not.

Someone who is undeniably with child is @Tara_ThorntonBT. She arrived, unsurprisingly, with her vampire escort, @fangtasiaserge, who I doubt is leaving her side at all in her delicate condition. I wonder if he, like me, finds himself remembering much too clearly a time when human women often didn’t survive the pangs and strains of bringing life into this world. I do not understand the vampires hostility towards me, though I suppose it could have something to do with coming to loathe his Maker and relishing in her second death, but I am also uninterested in finding out if it goes more deeply than that. As far as I am concerned, Tara is important to Sookie and what is important to my lover is important to me. We are, for lack of better words, “on the same team.”

Tara, it seems, is no longer able to endure the strain of tending bar and being on her feet for long periods of time due to her condition and has found employment outside the casino the vampires of Area Five hold a major interest in. She requested approval to vacate her job there, and with a single nod from Sookie, I gave the pregnant human my blessing. I find myself startled at how much I need and rely on her right now, when I am so uncertain myself, but I trust her and her judgment completely, without a second thought.

Tara’s cousin, @JustLafayette arrived with @HornDogJason and @BiancaNorthman. Needless to say, that is a trio none could have anticipated. Lafayette seemed uncomfortable, no doubt because many of the guests hosted that night possessed fangs that could descend at any moment’s notice despite Sookie’s inclusion of “no eating the guests” on the invitation for the event. It is safe to say I believe the fry cook has learned his lesson when it comes to the undead.

Jason, however, is as unintelligent and careless as ever. It is a good thing I trust Bianca with everything that I am and ever will be, or I would be positive he would be dead sooner rather than later. Bianca actually appeared demure and understated at the dinner, but that was by appearance only. I believe my child left the event with more phone numbers than she went in with, and propositioned half of those in attendance. Never let it be said she is shy.

@Sookeh clearly gets the ability to work a crowd from her. She arrived on the arm of @Sam_MerlotteBT, though “on the arm of” is somewhat generous since they both seemed mostly intoxicated. The Shifter was his normal cheery self, encompassing all he came into contact with a cloud of doom and gloom. While I am sure there are many things that should depress the Shifter to such a degree (a disgusting odor he can‘t hide, living in Bon Temps, residing in a mobile tin can, owning a bar for rednecks, etc.), he seems even more hopeless than usual. When even Sookeh seems startled by it, you know something is seriously amiss.

At least my evil daughter seems as evil as ever. Sookie seemed to spend a great deal of time chasing her around and reminding her not to destroy things because they had belonged to her Gran. Ah, Sookeh. So much destruction in such a small package. It is enough to make me unquestionably proud.

@NolanFerrior brought his human @NiftyJenny with him to the event and, at her prompting, informed me the pair is now “dating.” Nolan has always been somewhat unusual between his traveling in my trunk, his preference to dwelling in closets, and his predilection for sleeping on pipes, and it seems he has found his match in the broom wielder. Shortly after arriving, Jenny attempted to impersonate a plastic house plant before informing me the true love of her life is a machine at the @GrabbitKwik that produces a slushie.

I really have no idea what to make of that.

I should have asked @DavidCallum after he arrived with his attractive wife, @AlyxConway and their children, @SammieMasters and @ScarlettElena, but he was quite busy hitting on Bianca. I flashed him since he insists he is no longer dreaming of me after his ingestion of my blood during his brawl with Roman and despite him claiming not to miss them, I can tell he does. He really does.

In turn, Alyx flashed @WaylonLee_ and I. It is almost a shame Waylon makes such a good Pooh Bear, or I would seriously be considering turning my second two-natured child. As it is, I will be content to watch him eat everything in his path (including blood dishes which he seemed incredibly fond of), and using carrots to mimic fangs.

On a related, yet unrelated note, Sookie is not fond of me seeing breasts that do not belong to her. I cannot entirely understand this, since none compare to her own in my opinion, but I will do my best not to trouble her for such reasons.

@VampyJo arrived with @WereBabyLily and even though they were not able to stay for long, I was pleased to see them. Lily is getting so big so quickly, it is almost difficult to believe the little girl I carried around the party for a short time was the same one I spent locked in a room with for a few nights in New Jersey. I wonder if she remembers any of that. Human minds at such an age are a complete enigma to me.

@AngeloSenior arrived at the celebration with his human daughter, @GiannaVerdone. I believe Angelo signed my daughters chest, so when I next see him, I will possibly stake him. @AppiusOcella will be furious, but it would be worth it. Angelo’s own daughter pulled me aside at the party to offer me her thanks for giving her strange father my consent to leave my dwelling. I still fear that is possibly a mistake on my part and that Angelo took advantage of the daze that inevitably settles over a vampire so close to dawn, but I did not tell her such a thing. When we were parting, she hugged me as if we were not virtual strangers, and then propositioned me.

I chose not to tell Sookie this.

The arrival of @VooDooHooDooBT was unexpected, but thoroughly enjoyed by me. He brought with him Chow, who he has been keeping as a dung hut wife. The unintelligible witch doctor decided to show me his strengths, including his ability with a blow dart gun. I volunteered the Lieutenant to be the target, Joseph Drownapossum agreed, but when the dart flew, Lacey’s boyfriend Jack ended up being the one with a dart in his neck.

From that moment forward, I naturally claimed I had nothing to do with it.

Mr. Drownapossum also showed me his ability to call forth a donkey at will, and sure enough, @winnieYTM’s ass showed up in the middle of my lover’s living room. Sookeh had an ass there all her own. It’s a good thing Sookie was falling asleep by this point, or she no doubt would have been troubled by the livestock roaming her family home.

As the dinner wound down and Sookie slumbered at my side, I had the chance to speak to Lacey and David about both Lacey’s untimely end and the witches I encountered at Fangtasia. The description of the red-headed male seemed to ring recognition with her, and she confirmed as Roman had theorized, that he was the one who stole her purse while we were in New York City. David and I share a mutual concern for Lacey now, especially when she must protect her infant son, and have advised her to take shelter away from her home. I have contacted @LiamDelancy and instructed him to use his magic to secure her home and workplace, @HooligansClub, so she may return safely.

The Lieutenant let slip that Lacey’s return to this realm isn’t without change. She has acquired an ability to transport herself and others at a moment’s notice and demonstrated the ability when taking Sookeh back to her home. To say I am relieved is an understatement. Perhaps if the witches find her, she will stand more of a chance in escaping them than I did.

When all the guests left for the night, I cleaned up around my lover’s home and even remembered to put the remaining food away since Sookie is so often concerned about not letting such things go to waste. I carried her to bed and found myself relieved when it was only her and I, alone in her room, waiting for the sun to rise.

But overall, the event was good for me. I have never been so reminded of how important family is than I am now. Our bonds, both in blood and those we create through experience and common ground are invaluable. On the road of healing I find myself on, I believe Sookie’s dinner was significant. I am fortunate to have those who visited my lover’s home in my existence, and would not want to find myself in a world without them any longer.

Fairies, Fears, Diapers, and Death

@RomanLucious is a father.

Last night, the Deputy informed me that for the last month, he has been playing house with @FaeKayley after having kidnapped the infant child of a drug addicted prostitute. He killed the woman, destroyed her home, and took her son as his own. He has named the teacup Abel for reasons I never got around to asking.

Just that information was enough to leave my mind reeling for the remainder of the night.

I have always had confidence in the Deputy, he wouldn’t be my second-in-command if I did not, but I cannot help but wonder what possessed him to do such a thing. I asked, I could not help but ask, and I think Roman knew he owed an answer. What he has done is unthinkable. Our existence may not be the secret it once was, but that does not mean we do not have to practice caution. We are not humans. We stop being such a thing the moment our heartbeat ends. Roman gave himself over to our nature many centuries ago. The beings we are now are not what a child needs in this world.

The things this innocent and vulnerable human child will be exposed to are unthinkable. While they are second nature to us, no infant should know the death and destruction we revel in. No amount of concealment will keep this baby from seeing, hearing, and knowing more of this world than a child should ever have to.

Roman wanted to be a father though.

This, I can only understand. His confession, coupled with the pictures of the infant he displayed on his cell phone have left me regretfully reminiscent of my own mortal existence and the children I was forced to leave behind when @AppiusOcella took my heartbeat and with it, my humanity. How many times I ached to be with them, to watch them grow, to guide them as they became adults. How many hours I wondered of their well being, if they lived or died, if they thrived or found themselves lost after the loss of both their parents. I knew my own parents would protect and raise them to be great, but there was no comfort in leaving them as I did. There was no comfort in leaving them in a world of monsters.

But I had no choice. After all, I had become a monster myself.

I reminded myself repeatedly it was for the best I was forced to leave. Not only would I have endangered myself by returning to what I had known when alive, but I would be a threat to them without wanting to be such a thing. Those chapters had to be closed. My curiosity could not get the best of me. It was the only way they had a chance.

And what kind of a father could I have been? The vampire I am today is who I am meant to be. This nature is mine, and it is right. While I hope my sons became the warrior and fighter I was, I hope they never knew the savagery I prize myself on today existed.

That is what awaits @Baby_Abel. These are the things he will learn and know. There is no amount of glamor that will keep it from him. There is no amount of concealment that will let him keep the innocence of a child, an innocence a child deserves for the short time they are able to have it in this world.

The Deputy has already given the boy his blood. He intends to bond to him. I do not know what to think of this.

@BiancaNorthman and I inquired as to whether or not he fully understood the ramifications of his actions. I cannot imagine a pain greater than raising and caring for a human, a human who will age, know sickness, and eventually, death, all while we remain unchanged. Roman insists he will give the boy the choice eventually to join him in immortal death, but is that enough?

I have recently felt the unthinkable pain of losing a bond to death, of losing a human I intended on making my child. All it took was a moment… a mere second on her own and her life was over, and in her wake, I felt the pain. It is a blinding ache, an emptiness left behind one can never refill. A part of me, a part of everything I am and have done in my thousand years on this plane, was lost with the severance of the bond. I will never get that back.

While my Deputy felt such a pain as well, it was an ache for what might have been. It was an ache for what he has never known, in this existence or in his humanity, and I fear that is his reason for growing so close to this child so quickly. I fear his rash decisions that could have severe repercussions have never truly crossed his mind, and if they have, he has not given in to the urge to consider them.

He wants so badly to be a father. Can I fault him for this?

As much as I would like to, I cannot. While I was expected to father children when alive in order to add to our often dwindling numbers, it became much more than a requirement. There is a completion in being a father, just as there is a fulfillment in being a Maker. I try to picture my existence without the children I fathered in life and it is as impossible as picturing my eternity without @VampNiklas, without Bianca, without @pamiravenscroft, without @AnnaPPhillips, without @NolanFerrior, even without @VaughnBrennan.

Completely impossible.

Their accomplishments are my own. I have pride in everything they do, in everything they have become. Their errors pang me because they are my own failures. Their choices are testament to my role as a Maker, both good and bad. They are extensions of myself, extensions I cannot imagine never having had.

The mere thought of my existence without them is painful, lonely, and more dreary than words could ever express.

When I look past the clear, obvious, and severely detrimental ramifications of Roman’s actions, I can only say I understand. While I fear he does not truly understand how badly this can end, and while I fear if it does end badly, it will be the end of him, I can only support his decision with only a few reservations I will allow to linger. I have offered him all the protection of Area Five I can give, but is that enough?

He is but a baby. A human child. A breakable, vulnerable being incapable of protecting himself. And we are vampires, who know no depth we will not sink to, no pawn that is untouchable, no life we would not hesitate to end if it benefited us. Roman is a target just as I am. A target of other vampires, a target of other Supernaturals, a target for organizations of hate such as the Fellowship of the Sun. He will be for as long as he walks this earth.

So no, it is not nearly enough. I simply hope Roman knows this. I hope his fairy knows this.

More than that, I hope they truly understand it.

After all, I do. I have wondered if I should tell him of Niklas and of the selfish reasons that led me to turn him seven hundred years ago, reasons I have kept so silent for all these years. I do not know if it would help him, or if it would give him hope that may not be beneficial now. If he focuses on the tomorrow, will he ever be prepared for what he will face today?

Children seem to be finding more of a place with the undead. Roman is not the first vampire I have seen undertaking the role of a parent to a mortal being. Perhaps it is not so radical. Perhaps “leaving the coffin” has offered us luxuries we couldn’t afford when hidden.

I will admit, it has me wondering, and, as always, thinking.

I cannot help but be reminded of @AbigaleDawson and her fences, her desires to wed, settle down, and have children. It was something I could not offer her, despite my desire of her. It was simply not possible. I was not surprised when she found @WereTDawson who could.

But what of @BarmaidSookie? While I have always attempted to keep my humans at a distance, reminding myself I would tire of their entertainments long before such issues truly needed broaching, I find myself growing attached to her. We have not discussed the future in any great depths. It is a depressing, daunting prospect when we both are aware I will remain as I am eternally and she changes by the day. Still, the idea of her finding one who can and will give her the things I have always thought myself incapable of is painful.

Could I fault her for wanting the very things humans are expected to want? Things, it seems, even vampires desire whether we mean to or not? Could I fault her for finding someone who would give them to her if she wanted them with me, but I refused? Sookie has rejected me so many infuriating times, but never because of what I am, never because of my limitations. Could I, in turn, reject her because my limitations are not what I have always believed them to be?

Damn Roman for making me think this much about something I never thought I would need to think on again.

I hope he vomits on his fairy blood.

My Bonds: About Abigale

@AbigaleDawson

I met Abigale Stewart quite by accident... at least, I am certain it was an accident on her part. While I am quite accustomed to humans parading through Fangtasia dressed in all the latest revealing leather and latex apparel, I'm sure Abigale wasn't, nor was she used to being one of them. From the moment she stepped foot inside my club, she was out of place, nursing a single drink while gawking in disbelief at the desperate displays for the attention of the undead unfolding around her. It was obvious her companion for the evening had abandoned her early into their arrival. She sat alone at a table, desperate to avoid making eye contact with anyone present. She blended into the scenery as much as she could, happy to be ignored by the population of the club at large.

It was difficult for me not to watch her. She didn't look my direction, something I'm not at all used to. I imagine her friend tipped her off to where the resident vampire of Fangtasia spent his nights and she intentionally avoided laying eyes on her first vampire. I kept waiting for her to be just like every other human who visits the club, but she was determined to be awkward and uncomfortable, disapproving and unimpressed.

Naturally, I had to meet her.

The very first thing she did was spill her drink. I believe that successfully set the tone for my interactions with Abigale Stewart. I sat down at the table behind her and she didn't dare turn around. She spoke to me timidly... complaining of the music, the clothes, the atmosphere, and even of her friend who had abandoned her. She was repulsed by the blatant sexual overtones so many around her threw about as if they were as natural as they truly are.

She was a prude.

And a prude who had little difficulty telling the owner of the very establishment she sat in how awful she found his club. Of course, she didn't know what that was, nor was I quick to admit it as I took the seat across from her. I can recall with complete clarity how she blushed so profusely at everything. I was certain that in her mind, she had played through how her first meeting with a vampire would go and her interaction with me was as far from it as possible.

I love being unpredictable.

I made her dance with me. Truly, I didn't give her a choice in the matter despite her insistence she didn't dance. She had spilled her drink upon my table and floor, insulted my club, spoken ill of those who empty their pocket books nightly into my hands, and was making me nearly starved with the blood constantly rushing to her cheeks. In my opinion- and my opinion is the only one that matters to me- she owed me the dance. I had a feeling the timid, tiny human who spoke defensively of her job at Sandson's New and Used Book Store while desperately trying to conceal her cleavage from my gaze had not seen the last of me when she frantically ran toward the exit.

Like always, I was entirely accurate.

Of course, with Abigale, nothing ever went according to my master plan. Just after our initial meeting, she went out of her way to kick my Corvette as it was parked in the Fangtasia lot. She quickly befriended Nolan Ferrior, who at the time was nothing more than the cat who stood guard at the club's doors, and soon, her attendance at Fangtasia was nearly as guaranteed as Pam's. I often wondered if I should issue her a paycheck, she could so often be found within the walls of the club, cleaning up another's mess. She resisted me fervently at first, though her resolve wavered with the help of ample amounts of alcohol. Talk about bruising my pride...

That was how I managed to get my first taste of Abigale Stewart. I had always known there was something different about her. She was impossible to glamor, and yes, I had tried... often. Her blood was unique though, obvious even when laced with the alcohol pollutant pumping through her veins. She kept her secrets from me though, refusing to reveal what I wanted to know. She was stubborn. I don't know why that trait seems to be so common in the women I pursue, but it certainly seems an unfortunate recurring theme. I was determined to break every resolve she held, however, no matter what.

Fate, however, didn't seem to approve of such a plan.

And by fate I mean Roman, Pam, Nolan, and every other person who repeatedly interrupted a good thing happening.

Despite the reminder of my fangs present on her neck that she will wear eternally in scars, Abigale always refused my blood. She seemed oblivious to the fact that she was a fragile human, one who could and would die if pushed too far and there were far too many quite willing to push such a thing. Besides refusing my blood, she often refused to accept or acknowledge that she was mine, even when it would have been beneficial to her. It was, to say the least, discouraging, but that didn't change the fact that I cared for her, and wanted her more completely.

It is amazing, even after a thousand years of existence, one can never really know what will happen. Humans, for as long as I have studied them, can be surprisingly unpredictable as well. One night upon my arrival at Fangtasia, I discovered Roman had been badly injured, and in order to help him heal, Abigale had given him blood. If I was honest with myself, I would say that was when things began changing between the two of us. As stubborn as Abigale is, I am more so. As possessive as any human can ever be, I can trump them with ease.

It didn't make matters any easier that the Prince had arrived in Louisiana, and was targeting Abigale among a few other humans Area Five valued. She was in danger, she hadn't had my blood, and I felt incapable of helping her because of it. If the situation was not complicated enough, there was a great deal of fence-talk, something Roman reminded me of regularly. The future Abigale had envisioned for herself was something I could never give her. While I loathe Weres more often than not, I turned to the aid of Tray Dawson, a friend of Abigale's who I knew would keep her safe. I knew he would because no one could deny the Were wanted to build the fence Abigale ultimately desired at her side. I am also sure he wanted to be for her the things I found myself incapable of being... monogamous, content just sitting at home, not constantly endangered... The list goes on.

It is almost a cruel twist of the fates that Abigale finally had my blood when I was certain she was no longer mine. After Tray was nearly killed in Dallas, I saw what he meant to her, and it was something undeniably intense and powerful. I loathe the Were for these reasons, I always will, but I am at least pleased Abigale is capable of building the fences she desired and is- by her own words- happy.

Unfortunately, I have not seen much of Abigale since that fateful trip to Dallas. I am certain it is nothing short of exhausting wrangling the Weres and Shifters who seem to rely very heavily upon her. I've never seen her new residence (though that's probably a good thing, I imagine it smells terribly of moon mutt) and often only get to see her when we're both attending the same functions. As she prepares to marry her Were, I wonder if the distance will improve or only increase, but that is for the fates to decide. No matter what the fates hold in store, I do not regret Abigale's life buzzing quietly in the background of my mind, and hope she doesn't rue my own in the back of hers.

Belated Thoughts on Father's Day

Dear Journal,

I have never thought much of Father's Day. I believe the purpose of the "holiday" is to congratulate males for successfully impregnating females by producing offspring. It's a relatively recent invention, something within the last hundred years or so, but apparently it is openly celebrated and acknowledged by many. I have never celebrated one before. To be honest, I never believed I would, but for once in my long existence, I was wrong (and it's the first time that happened, I swear to the gods).

I owe my adventure into Father's Day to none other than @Sookeh. I know even you must be puzzled by how I have come to be Sookeh's father, dear journal, but I once informed her that I had bedded her mother (true story), and, long story short, it was decided I was her father. Of course, I am well aware I can no longer produce children and have been unable to for the last thousand years, give or take a few decades, but I must admit, I felt a kinship to the Evil One from the very beginning. Not only is she wonderfully evil and perverse, but she finds nothing sacred and no one untouchable. Add into that equation that she has inherited a posterior as well admired as my own and I will forever consider her my evil daughter. After watching @BiancaNorthman bond with her by performing more than a fair share of cruel acts on completely innocent parties, I am positive she is as much my own as anyone else living or dead can claim to be.

For that reason alone, when I found out she intended on throwing me a Father's Day celebration, I could only look forward to it... as much as one can when they worry animal sacrifices may be involved, anyway. After having my car dismantled by Sookeh's neighbors in the Evil Trailer Park of Doom during her baby shower, I have decided to be prepared for anything when it comes to her celebrations. I had never heard of this "Chuck E. Cheese" place the event was being held at, but I was far from disappointed. The event was something I will not be forgetting for as long as I remain only as dead as I presently am.

It has taken me a while to fully gather my thoughts on the event that unfolded in Shreveport that night. Truth be told, I am still reeling in some ways, but I can only imagine it will help me finalize some thoughts if I simply get the events out on paper now.

My night began, as most do, with Bianca. @EricsButt seemed to possess a mind of it's own almost immediately upon my rising, but my mind was focused on the approaching event. Before we left my home to venture to the venue, Bianca presented me with a gift I can only say made me smile. It was a first edition of Shakespeare's First Folio, a book that included the first printing of The Taming of the Shrew. That play will forever hold a special place in my silent heart and I know the same is true for her as well. I can remember word for word the message she wrote upon the card she presented me with now. "You stopped my heart from the moment I met you, long before you turned me. I could ask for no better Maker than you, and hope more than anything to be by your side forever. Never forget that." I really do hope I never forget that, even if I sincerely doubt it now and then.

Along with @BarmaidSookie, we made our way to Chuck E. Cheese where many guests had already gathered including @WereLee, @JustMakenna, @DeviousLucas, @TaliaPerrault, @RyderHard, @RomanLucious, @were_lucian, @SaraElle69, and @EmoPam. Even @PrinceVladTepes managed to show up in order to slay many of the amusement park-like games the establishment offered just as he slayed my washer and dryer (at least, that was what he did before breaking @pamiravencroft's arm and fucking Bianca at the party, but that is entirely another entry on it's own). @AbiStewart, who had already gifted me with a present that brought a smile to my face, blessed me with an additional gift by finding and dragging along my nearly-constantly downtimed newborn, @NolanFerrior. I was pleased to see my future progeny, @LaceyTB, among the crowd as well (though how in the future her turning will be is again, another entry all it's own). @CalienteChloe was hard to miss among the celebrators as well. I felt her eyes glued to my ass the moment I stepped foot in the oversized rodent's den. She seemed a strange mixture of happy and incredibly sad, but her situation is rather unique, to say the least.

For the first time since their births and the destruction of my last Corvette, I saw @AshnSugarbaby. Already they have gotten so big, sometimes it is difficult to remember how quickly tiny humans grow. At least, Sugarbaby has grown. Ash is a runt and a midget, one I am certain Sugarbaby, the obviously superior twin, will eventually consume. I have my fingers crossed she'll put the thing named after @DavidCallum out of his misery before they ever reach a year old. @VampyJo, who gifted me with tickets to a Colts game, brought her and the Were's infant, @WereBabyLily along as well, so there were teacups galore present. I was reluctant to let Sugarbaby go, but I made an exception when the giant rat hosting the event informed me I was needed upon stage for a present.

And what a present it was.

I've always had a bit of a- what is it human's call such a thing?- crush on @EmoEricNorthman's assistant. @KamanaLei's a fairy, what sane vampire could resist? And that was before being gifted with the performance of a lifetime. The fairy had gotten wind that I have a certain fondness for capybaras ever since Nolan was rescued by one after he was thrown into a gator farm by Roman and I, and @CapyBrier still follows me around from time to time. I was treated to a lap dance by the exquisite smelling fae all while she was wearing a capybara mask. It was something I had certainly never experienced before, but I have to admit it, I liked it a whole lot.

After the fairy lap dance, things got a bit hazy for me, as it tends to be when that intoxicating aroma hangs in the air. The giant rodent expired quite unexpectantly somewhere near the bar. I remember EmoEric presented me with a present of livestock and I couldn't have been happier. The next thing I remember, I was being covered in butter and pushed through a tunnel into a pit of primary colored balls. The haze remains until some creature arose from the depths of the pit and scared all the townfolk away on a quest for the Lieutenant. I sent her after the Deputy instead before grabbing my gifts and heading out myself with Sookie, Nolan, and Chloe in tow.

Note to self: Get something to transport livestock. When squirrels are passing my vehicle, something is not right. I hereby pledge never to drive at half the speed of squirrel again.

Once I got the livestock to cooperate enough we made it to Chloe's dwelling, she kissed my ass. I don't mean kissed it as it is normally kissed by the Deputy and the masses, I mean she literally kissed my ass. I wonder if it tasted of butter after that ball pit. Needless to say, it was quite a way to end my night.

After such an adventure, I am sure of a few things. One, the ball pit at Chuck E. Cheese contains horrendous secrets. Two, the capybara is superior to other large, alcoholic rodents. Three, Nolan really does need to wear a bell. Four, Sookeh will forever be my family.

Give me the names of people you love most and why?

This is quite a list, but I do not love. I don't believe vampires are capable of such a human emotion. I can offer a list of those I care for and why, however.

@BiancaNorthman - Bianca has been through more with me than any other could ever claim. She knows me nearly as well as I know myself. She means more to me than anyone and though I think a vampire's own self preservation is the most important thing in the world, I would give my eternity to spare hers if it was ever necessary.

@pamiravenscroft - Though Pam can drive me completely insane, she is my child, she is my blood, and I trust her with my unlife. She tries not to fail me and puts great effort into pleasing me. I would do most anything to help and protect her.

@VampNiklas and @TaliaPerrault - Niklas is my oldest surviving child, he is more like a son to me than any of the other vampires I have made over the course of time. Talia, who was turned only a year after Niklas, has always been like a daughter to me. Though it is hardly how one is supposed to feel for the vampires they make, they have always been such a thing to me.

@NolanFerrior - My newborn (who isn't actually my newborn any longer...) has been an ideal vampire who actually makes me very proud. He has an inordinate amount of loyalty to me and I have the same loyalty to him as well.

@LaylaDarshan - Layla is my human, I trust her, she's been there for me through unimaginable things. Most humans want to be taken care of by the undead, but Layla desires to take care of me and trusts me with her life unconditionally. It is a rare thing and something I value more than words can say.

@BarmaidSookie - I do not know why I care about the telepath. I find her frustrating and, more often than not, infuriating, but I know she trusts me, even if she insists to the contrary often.

@AbiStewart - I value Abigale a great deal. She's one of few humans who nearly unconditionally trusts the undead and treats vampires better than perhaps we deserve to be treated in general. I shared a great deal with her, I even find I miss her at times, so I cannot deny that I care for her.

@FunSizeLT - I don't think a day goes by that I am not thankful for and proud of Lacey. She treats vampires better than most I know, she sacrifices for them, cares for them, and even has been known to love them. She shares with them, but doesn't do so expecting things in return. She stands on her own, is fiercely loyal, and nearly always unafraid. I look forward to her being my child, if only because I know she will make me proud.

Ask a Viking vampire what inquiring minds wish to know

Tell me about something you really regret?

Recently or going back through all my years?

Recently seems the easiest. I regret listening to @AbiStewart and doing whatever it took to save @AshleyDanielss after one of the more vicious microwave explosions. Though I don't think I wanted to, I think I always resented Abigale for having led me to forge that bond.

Ask a Viking vampire what inquiring minds wish to know

Hi Eric! I hope you're having a good night. I have a real question, i swear. What are some business ventures you wish you'd gotten involved with or wish you were involved in? I know you have a lot of ventures/holdings.

I am not having a good night, Abigale, but thank you for wishing it better than it is.

Your question is not an easy one. Usually when there is something I wish to invest in, I do so. Little holds me back if I believe something is worth my money and my interest (though I'd NEVER invest in a casino in Bon Temps, even though I believe casinos to be sound investments).

I think I would have invested more in technology. While I loathe it and while it can take a while to truly catch on, advancements have proven to be a sound investment that I often don't jump at, simply because the concepts are difficult for me to envision or understand (especially when they're advancements for humans solely... appliances, etc.). There were opportunities that came my way that I thought would be certain failures simply because it seemed outlandish or unnecessary to me. If I could go back, I would change that.

I also think I would invest in more projects of passion when they came my way. When someone is truly passionate about their vision, the effort they put into it always trumps the average startup.

Ask a Viking vampire what inquiring minds wish to know

I Need a Vacation

The jobs of a Sheriff are never done. This past week has been a lethal combination of both busy and frustrating and to say that I am pleased it is now behind me could really be quite the understatement.

Golfing with @RomanLucious and @DraculaYTM was probably the highlight of my week (despite losing, which I will never acknowledge aloud), if only because it was the only night I was truly able to unwind. Bending that obnoxious gold putter of Andre's over the Deputy's head only really sweetened the event. The good is hardly what I need to get out right now, however. The frustrating matters are far more pressing in my mind.

@MadeJessica has been a nearly constant presence at Fangtasia and that has been the source of more than a few problems as of late. To say that I am annoyed that the newborn spends so much time on her own is putting things far more mildly than they deserve. @BeelCompton may not have been a Maker before, but all vampires know the responsibilities of one and when it comes to Jessica, he is failing. Of course, this really comes as no surprise to me. Compton is a fuck up who always seems to have his own (very boring) agenda, but that doesn't excuse completely disregarding his child. The girl is ignorant, uninformed, and entirely incapable of even the most rudimentary elements of being one of the undead. This week alone she has drained or nearly drained half a dozen humans. She has no control whatsoever, is incapable of glamoring, has no idea how to clean up her messes, and is constantly attempting to backtalk her elders. It leaves me perpetually torn between contemplating ending her and pitying her for the halfassed Maker she didn't desire nor ask for. I have to nearly constantly remind myself that not only is she new to this existence, the girl is a child by even mere human standards. Her immaturity and confusion is actually justified. The only thing that isn't is her Maker's seldom presence in her existence.

Her mistakes are costly. Early in the week, @TB_Sookie and Jessica made their way to Fangtasia to inform me there was a human in the hospital in Monroe covered in savage fang wounds that the media had gotten wind of. It was, of course, Jessica's doing. If an organization such as the Fellowship of the Sun heard about such a human, he would have become the poster child for their ridiculous propaganda. I do not know if it is commonly believed that vampires can clean such messes with ease or not, but it couldn't be further from the truth. Breaking into hospitals, stealing records, making certain security footage is obtained and erased, disposing of bodies... the amount of fangpower I've had to devote to cleaning up after Bill's child is ridiculous, but can I really fault her? At the end of the night, I cannot. She simply does not know any better and no one is teaching her otherwise. Teaching her is no simple feat either, however. When Roman and I attempted to instruct her in the proper way to glamor one of the living, our words fell on ears that couldn't bring themselves to pay attention. I keep reminding myself she has to learn and that it will take time, but these are things Bill should have started on long ago already.

The problems were only further compressed last night at @VampHadley and @Aidan_Berwick's reception following their elopement held at @Fangtasia_Queen's eststate in New Orleans. I'm not entirely sure how Jessica managed to get to New Orleans on her own, but she did, and while there, and while there, she managed to find a human she fully intended on draining. Thankfully, Sookie caught a fleeting glimpse into the intended victim's head and we were able to interfere before she had the chance to drain someone at the Queen's compound, but I found myself in near disbelief. The wrath she could incur for such blatant error is unthinkable and that didn't seem to register wither her whatsoever. Can I blame her? Can I fault her? When I look into her eyes I can tell she truly doesn't know. It baffles me. I forbade her from feeding on a human for the rest of the night and left her under the supervision of a demon who works in the Queen's service. Still, color me annoyed. These are not my responsibilities, despite being her Sheriff. These are Bill's and he should have been taking care of them long ago.

I shouldn't have been remotely surprised when I received a text message from the demon telling me Jessica was at Fangtasia. I should have known she would be more trouble than @NolanFerrior could handle on his first night in charge of the club, but unlike Compton, I have trained my newborn well and the faith and trust I have in him has been earned. It isn't simply so I can have a night to myself. I wasn't terribly surprised when shortly following I began receiving messages from @AbiStewart informing me there was trouble at the club. The trouble had spread outside my club, however. When I made the run to Fangtasia, I came across three fresh corpses in an alley not far from the entrance to my door, all showing clear signs of having been drained by a vampire. I knew immediately who was responsible and simply couldn't believe it. Does it even register with her the damage this behavior could cause? Sookie was attacked by the Fellowship on Sunday, taken within an inch of her life simply for being involved with the undead. Three corpses right outside my door says we are no better than the Fellowship says.

This behavior is jeopardizing my business, the soul income for my Area. It puts me and a position I have spent a thousand years earning in danger, it puts the vampires within Fangtasia and even those outside it at great risk from radical retaliation, it sends police and other law enforcement into my business... the list goes on and on. Mistakes I can tolerate, especially when the vampires responsible clean up after themselves, but leaving a trail of dead bodies almost directly upon my doorstep is inexcusable. Nothing seems to sink in. Warning after warning has been ignored. I am her Sheriff (though I wonder if she even knows what that means), not her babysitter. She attacked Nolan, threatened Abigale, and put my business in danger all after nearly making a mess of Area Five by leaving a corpse at the Queen's. It is time to make her understand the ramifications of her actions. With little reservation, I informed her I would see to it that Bill was not only informed of her recent actions, but punished for them. It is his duty to see to her training and to monitor her behavior. Her very existence was meant to be an obligation to Compton. There are many who would be infuriated to know their orders are being skirted and I can hardly fault them.

I realize the mere threat of reporting these things will no doubt incur me wrath from Sookie, but it is for Jessica's own good. I will possibly give the newborn one more chance to actually listen, but I am beginning to believe she truly is incapable of such a thing. Three dead outside of Fangtasia is risking more than I am willing to endanger.

Fucking newborns.