Fairies and Witches and Weres, Oh My

In the modern vernacular, I believe the living would refer to the last few weeks of my existence as a “clusterfuck.” I am not entirely certain where that particular word comes from or what brought about its formation, but considering it contains the word fuck, I can hardly find fault with its usage.

But I digress.

The last few weeks of my existence have been quite a “clusterfuck.”

It began- as so many things do- with @RomanLucious. After two years spent shuttling between Mississippi and New York, my prodigal Deputy has finally returned to Shreveport. The two years were not without news, though seldom did Roman and I exchange words or information directly. Vampire politics always has been and always will be a dangerous and deadly game, so volatile the board it is played upon threatens to be turned over at any given moment. Being Sheriffs of different Kingdoms hardly allowed for Roman and I to remain on cordial terms when Kings and Queens are quick to assume treachery for far lesser sins. Sources and allies delivered word of his movement to me, and I would be naïve- something I most assuredly am not- to assume the same was not true for him.

My sources did little to prepare me for his abrupt arrival at @BarWithABite, however. I hadn’t received so much as a whisper that he might be venturing to my corner of Louisiana, yet there I was, dressing for another wasted night spent being  gawked at by the worthless fangbangers that flock to Fangtasia, when I felt him as clearly as I would feel one of my own progeny. Though I trust my blood with everything that I am, I doubted it in that moment until I laid eyes on him. Once more, my blood had not led me astray. When I arrived at the club, there he was with the witch @MenaGrazie, as if it hadn’t been more than seven hundred nights since he had last entered it.

I believe humans would refer to those first few moments as “awkward.” Personally, I would prefer to think of them as having been tense. Bonds and blood mean more than most could ever fathom, yet no vampire who has survived as long as the pair of us have is quick to drop his guard without just cause. I was curious, doubtful, incredibly suspicious, and- I’m not too proud to admit- relieved to see him.

There is good reason @fangtastic_Pam is my Second. After exchanging greetings with Roman, she wisely decided to shut the two of us away in my office to sort through his reasons for returning to Area Five. Granted, she likely regretted that decision before the night was through, but it was necessary in the moment.

I should have known I wasn’t going to enjoy the reasons for our reunion the moment he pulled out the flask of fae blood. Not that Roman has ever needed an excuse to gorge himself with fae, but he drank first, and I appreciated the act for what it was… a sign he hadn’t come to betray my trust or to end me, so I indulged in turn as a measure of good faith. In retrospect, I probably shouldn’t have. It made me much too open to accepting his reasons for being in Shreveport, which, naturally, were solely because of @PrinceVladTepes. The deputy’s long standing feud with The Prince is the sort of thing legends and nightmares are made of. It’s woven throughout history like a bloodied tapestry. Every time the pair cross paths, nothing but destruction, devastation, and death lay in their wake.

As much as I would like to at times, I cannot fault Roman for feeling haunted by The Prince. If anyone is, it is most certainly him. With the Prince residing in New Orleans, he has returned to Area Five to finally end the feud and unshackle his eternity from that of Dracula or meet his final death once and for all. It’s a noble quest, even if entirely delusional. A large part of me would like nothing more than to see Roman free from the clutches of the Prince, yet another part of me knows it would never be so simple as that. Should he succeed, vampire law would demand he be ended, along with anyone who might have helped him, living or undead. Knowing his intentions, just agreeing to allow him into Area Five could be deemed punishable with Second Death.

So, of course, I gave him permission. Now it’s just a game of distracting him from his quest for the sake of us all.

Fortunately, there has been a fair amount happening to keep him from rushing head first into his self-appointed suicide mission. The same night Roman arrived in Shreveport, his adopted child @VampyJo sought me out at Fangtasia with news of her husband, @were_lucian. For months, the Werewolf had been suffering from a Stage 4, inoperable brain tumor. Specialist after specialist had been unable to do anything for the pup, and while JoAnna’s blood eased some symptoms, it was incapable of reaching the root of the problem in order to cure it. Though my knowledge and understanding of modern medicine is extremely lacking, once I was handed Lucian’s medical files, it took me very little time to determine he was dying.

I had no doubt JoAnna intended to turn him, and she was quick to confirm it, though she had no shortage of reservations. Lucian had expressed his desire to be turned, but given JoAnna’s own experiences with her mad Maker, she questioned her capability and sought advice. I was willing to provide it, and quickly agreed to be present for both Lucian’s death and his raising. I may not have been her Maker, nor even her adopted Maker, but JoAnna has always been loyal to me and has proven herself trustworthy time and time again, and I was honored to take on the role of her mentor for such an important turning. Begrudgingly, I could even admit to a slight fondness of the Were, even if he did stink of dog. Seeing him turned, though many would not approve, was preferable to a mortal death.

Death was in the air, it seemed, though I wouldn’t learn of @NiftyJenny’s passing until she told me of it herself, and with a beating heart, no less. To say that I was fascinated by her story would be quite the understatement. Jenny had died in Bon Temps a few nights before she sought an audience with me at Fangtasia. After reading her obituary in the paper, @BiancaNorthman’s bonded witch @LiamDelancy and her homosexual dayperson witch, @OscarBrooks, exhumed her body with the intention of returning her to this world, something they succeeded in doing with @TisaMoreno and a necromancer, @WitchyHannah. To say that I was intrigued to learn @TeacherHalleigh’s sister raises the dead in her spare time would be putting it mildly, though I maintained a well-practiced air of disinterest.

A vampire can never let a human know when they hold more cards than they realize.

Jenny had not returned from death the same as she had entered it. Whether it was from her time on “the other side” or from the witches, I know not, but she has returned to this world mortal, yet other. She is able to discern races by smell, not so unlike a vampire, but perhaps more intriguing still is the damage she can cause when angered or threatened. I am naturally curious of her abilities along with the potential they hold, and since she has long been a human I found worthy of their existence, it seemed only natural to offer her a position at Fangtasia. She is now a bartender for the club and has invented a drink called a “Totally Tits Martini.” I have no idea what goes into it, but quite frankly, she had job security at the very mention of breasts.

Seeing Jenny at Fangtasia nightly naturally led me to thoughts of @BrierFerrior. It had been some time since the WerePanther had left Fangtasia for pursuits elsewhere in the world. I hardly make it a habit to contact former employees of the bar- not that there are many former employees who aren’t dead- but I had always thought of Nolan as “mine.” He may not have been bonded to me, but he had always been more bearable company than any other slave of the moon I had known and seemed to prefer the company of humans and vampires to that of his own kind. He had long been fiercely loyal to me, and I didn’t require an exchange of blood to know he was trustworthy.

It turned out that Nolan had pursued a career in shoveling sodium. Prior to this, I had no idea salt required shoveling, and I’m still uncertain as to why it does. I assume it’s a cat thing, but I don’t really know why. Though his choice in replacement profession was questionable, he proved his intelligence by jumping at the chance to return to Fangtasia. Nolan belongs at the bar in the same way Pam or myself do. It is simply not the same without him, and he was happy for the opportunity to return (not that anyone could blame him when he would otherwise spend his mortal existence shoveling a seasoning).

While Nolan’s professional life left much to be desired, his personal life seems to have flourished. Nolan is now a married man, not to mention an expectant father. @BrookeFerrior is a WerePanther as well, currently pregnant with their child, and who has a half-fae child from a previous relationship. Nolan introduced us his first night returned to Fangtasia, and she is a good choice in woman for him. She is attractive and quick-witted and considering she is mother to a half-fae, smells surprisingly good for one of the two-natured. She will keep Nolan on his toes and help me make sure his existence is filled with surprises and “coincidences” that happen to amuse me to no end. Needless to say, I approve.

Another former employee of Fangtasia has “tied the knot,” as they say. At least, I think that’s what they say. Human idioms have always evaded me. @MelissaHiggens invited Roman and I to her nuptials to another vampire, @KyvanRus. I had never met Kyvan before, but it is obvious he makes Melissa happy, and for two vampire to pledge themselves to one another for eternity is no small thing. The ceremony was pleasant and I am pleased Melissa is happy.

Considerably less happy throughout the ceremony was Pam. I could feel her significant discomfort throughout the wedding, and had to excuse myself shortly after the reception began. Pam’s progeny, @Pams_firstboy and @TaraThornton_ had fed upon donors who had been drugged in some manner, and were weakened to the point the slowest of humans could have ended them with ease. I may not tell her often, but Pam truly is a good Maker. She knows when to discipline and when to offer compassion. I have never seen her take away their freewill, though it would be easy for her to do. She allows them great freedoms and shows significant amounts of trust. I can feel that she cares for her progeny, and she suffered for their pain then. After giving blood to Tara, Pam was too depleted to offer Colin the healing he required if he was going to last the night, so I provided Colin with my blood. It took them a few nights to fully heal and replenish from the ordeal, but they recovered, and I am relieved for Pam that they have.

There would be no recovering for Lucian, however, and in short order, it was time for JoAnna to turn him. I ordered @VaughnBrennan to dig the hole in which Lucian would spend his three days death to spare JoAnna the task, and after quite the fiasco with my youngest child and fueled by @winnieYTM that I refuse to get into, it was time for Lucian to be turned. @WereLily and @SpencerColtTB had left the Maxwell residence prior to Roman and I arriving to bear witness to the event, and that was certainly for the best. It was the first time I had seen Lucian in some time, and his condition was dire. It was no small gift of Fate that he had managed to last as long as he had.

It was a difficult turning to witness. Lucian and JoAnna had exchanged blood more times than could be counted, and in order for the Were to be made a vampire, the bond had to be severed. JoAnna’s pain was obvious and abundant, and it was more than apparent the three days waiting for Lucian to rise would be the longest and most agonizing of her existence.

It may be selfish to confess, but I am a selfish vampire, and in those moments, I could not help but think of @BarmaidSookie. My bonded has made me feel more things in the brief time I have known and been with her than I can recall experiencing in centuries before. Though Sookie has expressed no desire to be turned and though I have no interest in ending her humanity when I enjoy it as much as I do, I cannot fathom my existence without her in it. Should I ever face a night when I no longer feel her very life force within me, I don’t know what I would do. It has become something I need as desperately as I need sustenance. I refuse to believe there might be a future without her in it, and if there is, I would rather destroy the world than exist in it.

Let it never be said JoAnna is weak. I have little doubt she handled the situation far better than I would have.

Roman and I buried them together, since JoAnna refused to leave Lucian’s side, even though she felt nothing from him, and he was locked into the death that accompanies our transition. I checked in on her over the following nights, making certain she wasn’t losing herself to the agony of the severed bond, but she held up impressively well for a vampire of any age, let alone one as young as she is. On the third night, I unburied them alone and was there to offer my congratulations to JoAnna on being a Maker and to assess the now youngest vampire in my territory.

Lucian’s situation is a delicate one. Making vampires out of Weres is not an embraced situation on either side of the Supernatural fence (fuck fences!). Lucian is left with a foot in two separate worlds, on both sides of a battle and rivalry that has been raging for all of time, and neither side will be quick to accept his allegiance nor to trust it. Even I will admit to being leery and acknowledge I am watching the situation closely. Because I advised JoAnna and value her, I am invested now in Lucian’s existence, though whether or not the newborn appreciates that remains to be seen. I wish to see him flourish as a vampire, and embrace this existence, one he is fortunate to have been given, but his struggle with his new nature would be obvious, even if JoAnna hadn’t confessed there have been issues.

Of course, I’m sure part of that is because the Were side of the ongoing feud has been making its presence and feelings known. JoAnna told me both the @WereAlcide had the bathroom befouler @WereTDawson have voiced their opinions on the matter. I can only roll my eyes at that. Where is a damn newspaper to smack them in their noses with when you need one?

The first few full moons following his turning will be the true test of Lucian’s future. If he is able to accept and embrace his new nature, it will be made apparent then. For JoAnna’s sake, I hope he does not destroy himself. Considering the first time he properly fed on one of the living, it was that of his adopted son, Spencer, I fear Lucian’s experiences thus far have not been ideal. I don’t truly believe he would destroy himself intentionally, but if he does not learn, adapt, and embrace what he now is, his taste of immortality may be brief, especially since many odd things seem to be afoot.

And nothing is more odd than what happened after the Deputy finally returned to Fangtasia after vanishing for a week following Lucian’s human death. I had suspected Roman’s claims of chasing fae in Monroe was all a clever ruse in order for him to secretly pursue the Prince in New Orleans. His witch was able to track and locate him there, and after I demanded he return to Area Five, she insured his arrival. I was less than pleased he was foolishly entering the Prince’s territory on his own, and JoAnna proved she has no fear of her adopted Maker and had no qualms offering her own opinion on the matter, but none of that was truly bizarre.

What was odd was who arrived in the middle of what was about to become a bloody battle. Fangtasia has always attracted a very wide spectrum of clientele, but the one Supernatural family we fail to lure in is that of the fae. I suppose those delicious tasting beings have enough sense of self-preservation to avoid our little slice of Shreveport. All except for my bonded’s cousin, @ClaudeCrane, that is. He demanded entrance into my office and after Sookie allowed him admittance, he began ranting and raving with news I still chuckle at the reminder of.

It seems Roman hadn’t been entirely dishonest when he had claimed he was visiting fae in Monroe. At some point in time between the two of us burying JoAnna and Lucian and his witch retrieving him from New Orleans, Roman married the fruity fae. Claude had a signed marriage contract, written by @SkyPrinceNiall himself, and signed in blood by both Claude and the Deputy. The news was enough for a centuries old vampire to seemingly lose consciousness (I didn’t think such was truly possible, yet I’m not sure I wouldn’t have done the same had our positions been reversed), and I was tasked with seeking out the demon Cataliades to see if the contract was as true as it seemed to be upon first sight.

It was. Roman and the fruity fae are man and… man, much to the Deputy’s dismay and to the amusement of all others.

As amusing as I find it (and I most certainly do find it amusing), I also find the union troubling for so many reasons, a number of which I’d rather not think on now, or ever. Just as we are not fond of fae beyond the blood their bodies offer, Niall Brigant of all fae is no friend to the vampire. My relationship with his bonded has, as far as I am aware, never been accepted by him, nor embraced, and my lover is only one-eighth fairy. Claude is the only pure-blooded male heir in Niall’s line, and Roman is nothing short of a fae blood addict. I cannot imagine it is Niall’s intention to see his only grandson drained until he is nothing more than fairy dust, even if seems that is the most likely outcome. Fairies are deceitful, manipulative, and always with their own agenda. I refuse to underestimate Niall’s cunning, and can’t imagine there isn’t some significance to this union that hasn’t yet been realized.

Figuring out what it might be seems unlikely, however. The contract is written and worded in a cryptic way that seems likely fairies might understand, but it is impossible to decode without some knowledge of the intention behind it. Mr. Cataliades offered no insight, only saying he refused to be involved with any interference we may attempt concerning a contract written by Niall, which is far from promising. I suppose I will simply hope the fruity fairy or one of his kin spills the secrets of it before Claude is drained.

I hate hoping. It never tends to end well.

Since hope is unreliable, I’ve begun taking matters into my own hands, or at the least, gathering support where I might. Between arranged fae-vampire marriages and @DakotaARyan informing me Dracula may be aware of more than we realized, I’ve began moving my own pieces on to the board, just in case. As I always say, I fucking hate witches. There is no such thing as reiterating that enough. Still, after being nearly drained only to have my bar burned down around me a few years ago, I can admit they have an impressive amount of power for mere mortals. Reluctantly, I can also admit not every witch has been a proverbial stake to my side. Bianca has long been fond of her witches, Roman’s witch Mena has proven useful to him, and the school teacher’s sister has even proven herself useful.

So I’ve decided to find myself a witch. Yes, I still fucking hate witches and will continue to do so, but I refuse to not possess a weapon I could find use for. Finding one to trust is difficult, however. I kept an ear to the ground and learned of a witch out of New Orleans who has been punished for being a witch (including by other witches) nearly as much as I have been punished by witches. @JadeChiara_ had no ties to the vampire community whatsoever, which was another point in his favor. After taking a meeting with him in Fangtasia, I have decided to hire him for my uses. He could prove to be quite useful, especially if he could succeed in tracking down that ginger-menace @BrodyKeyes where all others have failed.

In an odd twist of fate, Jade operates a tattoo shop out of New Orleans with @DareDevilDestin. He has used his magic to create inks that can be used to tattoo even vampire skin without quickly vanishing. I find myself strangely tempted to indulge, despite the fact that Sookie was less than fond of the last time I did such a thing.

@AppiusOcella has been extremely quiet as of late, and I fail to know whether I should appreciate such or be concerned. My Maker has seemingly made it his eternity’s purpose to see me and what I hold dear suffer for the night Roman staked Alexei, and in the past, quiet has meant he is up to something. What he might possibly be up to, I cannot imagine, but it has me slightly on edge. Perhaps that is my own paranoia, however, since I have begun planning my own treachery against him.

Planning is perhaps an overstatement, since I truly have no idea how I will go about doing such a thing, but I intend on freeing Vaughn from his clutches. Turning and giving Appius the drug-addled busboy in exchange for not taking Roman’s life for Alexei’s second death has long been a source of much contention between myself and Bianca, and remains so to this day. She loathes the fact that I surrendered my blood so easily, despite the fact that I truly had little choice in the matter, and uses any mention of Vaughn to express her dissatisfaction with me. What she doesn’t seem to realize, however, is I despise myself enough for both of us for having done it in the first place.

Since the incident with the hole at the Maxwell home I refuse to discuss, I have realized how dire my youngest child’s situation truly is. In the few times I have seen Vaughn since the night he rose, he had always been with Appius, and he was hardly allowed the permission and freedom to speak, especially to me. I have often felt his suffering and loneliness strumming through the bond we share, but nothing could have prepared me for what Vaughn has become… or hasn’t become, would perhaps be a more accurate way of putting it. My child, despite having been a vampire for a few years, is practically human. He barely seems to grasp the fact that he is undead and seems to have no knowledge of our abilities and strengths, nor how to use them. From the look and manner of him, I suspect he has never so much as fed upon human blood.

I expected Appius to torture or simply end him for the inevitable ache it would cause me. I didn’t expect him to do this.

I don’t know how I will accomplish it, but it is my responsibility to free my child from my Maker once and for all. Hopeless as he may be, Vaughn is mine, and he deserves at least a chance at this existence. I will teach him and introduce him to his true nature because it is his right, and if he remains as hopeless as he was the night he defiled JoAnna’s lawn, I will do the kind thing and end him. Now, I just have to figure out how to obtain him without drawing the ire of my Maker. Bianca’s anger (and petulant, infuriating furniture rearrangement) is more than enough.

Through it all, Sookie has remained my island of sanity throughout the storm of chaos that wages around me. I would be lost without her.

On a related note, I owe her a new kitchen table.

A Whirlwind Week

Thursday night, @BarmaidSookie left her farm house in order to attend what she called a "munch needed" meeting with @Sam_MerlotteBT. The notion of her going to speak to the Shifter worried me a great deal, especially since the last few encounters with the glorified canine have left much to be desired. Not only has he made it a common practice to insult my lover simply because she is with me, but Sookie confessed that he had taken to offering similar derogatory comments to @Tara_ThorntonBT since she has so often been accompanied by and watched over by @fangtasiaserge. I don't care much for Serge myself, yet anyone with eyes can see he is no danger to Sookie's friend and that his actions are purely out of concern for her.

The Shifter's hatred of all things vampire seems to have reached a new and concerning level as of late. While I know no vampire would react to his amusing and ignorant rantings, I have worried for the humans around him, and that includes my Sookie. Though she offered me the opportunity to go with her on the venture, I could not allow myself to do so, even though it was more than tempting. My presence would have only fueled the Shifter's fire.

Instead, I was left in Sookie's farmhouse quite unsure of what to do with myself. It is amazing how quickly I have become completely accustomed to her presence at my side. Without her, I found myself at a loss and feeling her absence immediately. She was there for me when no other was, and that has imprinted upon me in an irreversible way. It is almost fortunate for me that @pamiravenscroft phoned Sookie's home shortly after my telepath's departure and provided me with a much needed distraction.

She had arrived at @BarWithABite that evening planning to further organize the necessary renovations for the club after the witch's fire only to find a part of the roof had collapsed, and not by natural means. At the scene of the crime, she discovered @AshleyDanielss along with another, unfamiliar girl, @Witch_Madison. With the help of @MelissaHiggens, who was there to help her with the debris removal and necessary phone calls, the pair managed to apprehend the two girls and secure them in the basement of Fangtasia against their will. Both were questioned, but Pam stated they were willful and refused to offer information up. After the spell @DocLudwig diagnosed as having been placed on her by a witch, she has struggled with glamoring, and found herself unable to force the pertinent information out of them.

After some brief consulting with one another, we decided to leave the girls in the basement of the club and starve them. Their willfulness will break quickly enough. If either is connected to the witches who took my blood and burned me, we will uncover it and will then be a step closer to finding those responsible. It is a small relief and victory amid the series of unfortunate happenings that have plagued Area Five since the sudden influx of witches. There will be many more victories to follow this one.

Once I was off the phone with Pam, I struggled with deciding whether or not I should tell Sookie this information when she returned home. Despite the fact that I know my lover wants vengeance upon those responsible for Fangtasia's fire and my resulting injuries, I know she would not approve of holding the girls and torturing them in much the way I myself was tortured. I decided not to tell her, not to avoid the argument that could ensue, but simply because I did not want to consider involving myself or Sookie in these things in any way. Pam has the situation in hand and I trust her with it. Sookie does not need the unpleasantness, nor do we, not when my lover has been so happy lately.

That happiness is of the utmost importance to me and I want nothing more than to maintain it. Instead of deciding how I would broach the issue when she returned from the Shifter's pub, I put in a rushed text to @LaylaDarshan with clear instructions for the next day.

Sookie returned home soon with news that left me pleasantly surprised. Her meeting with the Shifter went far better than I could have anticipated, and my lover finally explained the nature of her talk. She sought additional time away from the redneck bar in order to stay with me and adapt to my hectic schedule. It is both relieving and rewarding that she is as devoted to solidifying this rare and extraordinary thing we are sharing as I am. I know what my lover's work and income means to her, and I know she has as much pride as I do. She is so reluctant to offer any aid from me despite it being something so easy for me to give, but these things we will work through.

I am fortunate to have her. I cannot tell her such a thing enough. I am determined to show her how much I appreciate her presence in my existence and the sacrifices she has made for me more often.

I showed her that night in her kitchen. We broke her Gran's table.

When I rose Friday evening, Sookie was not in bed with me, but I could smell her cooking in the kitchen. She was obviously distracted and it quickly became apparent as to why. Layla did not disappoint in the requests I made of her the previous night. The packages arrived just as I had desired them and Sookie had spent her daylight hours wondering to the contents of them. Once she had fed, I allowed for her to quench her curiosity and open the boxes. I couldn't help but chuckle as she first discovered the gown I had chosen for her, her face filled with a kind of awe and trepidation.

I had been considering attending the @BloodBall2010 for some time and could imagine attending with no one but Sookie. Things had been so hectic that a trip to New Orleans for a party of such sorts seemed out of the question, but Sookie and I both needed a chance to get away and enjoy one another. When I invited her to attend with me, she instantly accepted, and in no time, the additional boxes were opened and we were packing for the lengthy drive to New Orleans along with Hundr, who has been quite overdue for a stay in a vampire hotel.

We didn't reach New Orleans until it was nearly dawn and Sookie and Hundr were quick to fall asleep. I knew my lover would need all the rest she could get for a busy and memorable event. When I awoke on Saturday evening, Sookie was already buzzing about the hotel room, preparing herself for her very first formal event of such magnitude. It is almost surprising to me no one has ever offered her such before. My lover deserves to be treated to the finest things in life and she looks natural in a gown of such design. It truly did hug her body in the most perfect way, making it nearly impossible for me to will myself into my tux and out of our hotel room...

But I digress. There was not even a small chance that I would deprive my lover of an event she was so obviously anticipating, and I could feel her anticipation clearly. We drove to the Magisterial Estate, where @VampireMagister hosts the event every year and as soon as we entered, Sookie was enchanted by the opulence of her surroundings. We saw @LaceyTB almost immediately upon entering and I could tell Sookie was relieved not every face in the crowd was unfamiliar. In fact, there were many familiar faces in the crowd of partygoers. @DavidCallum, @AlyxConway, Pam, @RomanLucious, @MeeMawBellefleu, @VampireStan, @KittyCatAngie, @ShifterPmt17, @CindyLouLouBear, @BranCrisp, @Lady_Cris3, and even @Vampire_Bubba looking dapper in a metallic suit were all among the collection of humans, Weres, and vampires who had amassed for the retired Magister's celebration.

And naturally, @Sookeh was there, possibly for the free food. She stopped by Sookie and I for only a few moments in order to introduce us to her new flame, @EvilDamon. The "boyfriend" was either invisible or nonexistent and I expressed exactly this, much to Sookeh's annoyance. Once the Evil One took off in another direction apparently in search of a human to sacrifice for some cause, my lover informed me she believes my daughter has an imaginary boyfriend. I do not know what to make of that, but it is Sookeh, and I find myself simply accepting it. In the grand scheme of things, this is quite normal.

Sookie also introduced me to a friend of hers, @MenaGrazie, a human who seemed quite out of sorts and jumpy despite the fact that I assured her I would not be quick to kill her when she is a friend of my lover's. I do not know why the girl was so uncomfortable. I would think any attending a ball being hosted by vampires would be comfortable among the undead, but one can never really anticipate nor understand humans fully. Sookie stated that the girl was a writer, a journalist of some kind. Perhaps she is simply more familiar interacting with words instead of individuals. It can be investigated later.

When @Kayden_D took the stage to perform for the audience, I was quick to sweep my lover out onto the dance floor. Nothing in this world compares to Kayden's voice, which seems to have been touched by the gods themselves. The Magister made a wise choice in turning her and choosing her as his lover and companion. Sookie and I danced for easily an hour on end without stopping. I had no idea she enjoyed such a thing so much, but it is exactly what such an occasion is for, and the two of us took full advantage of it. I will really have to take her dancing more often.

When she required a rest, we found a table and were quickly joined by Lacey, Dave, and Alyx, who are always the most welcome of company. Lacey was inebriated and quite upset, though she insisted she was enjoying herself. She informed Sookie and I there has been progress in @JackDanielsTB's condition and he may soon wake. I hope that with his waking, Lacey's own spirits will improve as well. It pains me to see her with such a sadness surrounding her. I will always think of Lacey as my daughter, and her pain is my own. Though I do not know this Jack of hers well yet, I can tell he brings to her what Sookie brings to me. I hope that is returned to her soon.

Chatting with the three of them with Sookie at my side was the perfect way to end the evening, and soon, Sookie and I were returning to our hotel for amazing sex. How is it that every time is so amazing and never remotely boring? I do not know, but I doubt it will be changing, and certainly do not want it to.

On Sunday, I took Sookie and Hundr on a carriage ride through New Orleans City Park to see the display of holiday lights they feature every year. This holiday season is so important to my lover, I wanted her to have the chance to experience the holiday in the Big Easy, even if we would only be there briefly. Sookie seemed enchanted by the experience and even Hundr seemed to enjoy all the lights and people buzzing about. Sookie sampled the cuisine and we strolled the gardens lazily, something we both enjoyed. Hundr enjoyed leaving his own trace on the gardens much to my amusement. Able to convince me of nearly anything, my lover even managed to get me onto the rides that had been set up for the event. Her enjoyment was my own, so I would easily do it all again.

We were both nearly reluctant to end our weekend away, but the time to return to Shreveport had unquestionably reached us. Sookie does not want to miss the birth of Tara's child and there is much more to do in our holiday celebrations. My lover has gone to work planning a baby shower for her along with @JustLafayette and @JericaMalone, and she seems to be genuinely excited for the new addition to her makeshift family, so I am pleased for her.

Last night, Sookie and I planned on decorating my home for the holiday season as we had her own home, but I found myself incapable of doing that before I discussed the prospect of our third bonding with her. I love Sookie Stackhouse, now that I have confessed to such and realize the depths of my affections for her, I desire the permanent bond that the blood exchange would form. I reminded her of my intention to travel to Sweden with @NolanFerrior this season, and asked her if she would do me the honor of bonding to me there. She immediately agreed to my relief, and has even embraced the idea of having the important exchange witnessed by some of those who will understand it's importance best. She chose a small list of people, Lacey and Jack, @BiancaNorthman and @LiamDelancy, Nolan and @NiftyJenny, Pam, and @WaylonLee_ to invite. The fact that she chose some of those most important to me pleases me if only because it assures me they are becoming important to her as well.

Of course, my lover could never stop there. Immediately she began planning a small party in which we can invite those few for the trip and explain our intentions to them. She truly is the consummate hostess. Not wanting to be one to forget any this holiday season, she is also toying with the idea of another party to include all our friends and relations. My lover is nothing if not thoughtful and infinitely thankful for those she cares for.

I will never be able to determine what I have done to deserve her, but I know I will never be able to let her go now that I have her.

My First Thanksgiving Dinner

Friday evening, @BarmaidSookie and I hosted what I am told is a traditional Thanksgiving dinner. While I have been well aware of the holiday for many, many years, it is the first time in my long existence I have- in Sookie’s words- hosted such an event myself. My reasoning for ignoring a holiday that seems focused on human food and poultry in buckle hats has been obvious in the past, but once more I find my normal behavior being altered for the gift that is Sookie.

What is important to her is undeniably important to me, and that includes bizarre holidays of thanks.

From the moment Sookie asked if we could host the event together onward, my telepath had been focused upon little else. Between making invitations, getting them out to all our friends, and preparing an endless supply of both human nourishments and blood dishes, my lover exhausted herself in order to be the consummate southern hostess.

I must admit, I was dreading the event when I rose on Friday night. Since the incident at @BarWithABite and the witches, I have been going out of my way to avoid others. My body is still regenerating in some places and I know I am not entirely myself both physically and mentally. I fear others will see this and know, and though I do not like to believe that any I or Sookie consider a “friend” would use this to their advantage, I remained concerned. Being cautious is what has kept my existence in tact for a thousand years, after all.

Sookie seemed to sense my trepidation immediately. She ceased buzzing about her farm house in order to assure me things would be fine, and once more, I found myself relaxing if only because of her nearness and the comfort she brings me. It startles me, but I find myself believing I could come to love this rare and extraordinary human woman.

There was little time for me to think of that, however, when our guests began arriving for the evening. @RomanLucious, his fairy, @FaeKayley, and their adopted son, @Baby_Abel were the first to arrive for the night. It was obvious immediately that they were no more familiar with the holiday than I was, but I appreciated the fact that they were attending if only for my Lover. As Sookie showed them to the absurd amount of food she had concocted for the evening, @LaceyTB, @JackDanielsTB, and @WestonTackett arrived.

It was the first time I have seen Lacey since she had been lost to me and I must admit, it was a relief to see her whole and not merely a figment of my imagination. I do not understand what possibly could have occurred to return her to this realm and to those who care for her, but I am nothing short of relieved that it did. My blood may no longer tie us together, but Lacey will never cease to be precious to me, and seeing both her and her son brings an undeniably comfort with it.

Of course, not everyone seems to feel that way.

I had avoided speaking of Lacey’s miraculous return to this realm to the Deputy after first discovering it for myself if only because I did not know how the news would be received. When Roman first told me of Abel and his relationship with the fairy, a part of me was undeniably concerned he was attempting to replace what had been lost in the car accident that fateful night and that was what was guiding his decisions. After learning more of his son and his fairy, I believed Roman seemed- for him- relatively happy. To disrupt that for what could not be changed would have been a crime.

And ultimately, even a meddlesome vampire such as myself can recognize when something is not my place.

There was no hiding what Roman did not know then, however, and awkward moments were not quick to pass. The Deputy was troubled and angry, I could feel this easily enough, and Lacey was startled and hurt. I was unsurprised that the Deputy departed shortly after the night began. Centuries of existence and experience does not automatically create aplomb.

Little time could be devoted to thinking on such things when more guests were arriving. Sookie seemed perpetually trapped at the doorway of her house as she welcomed guest after guest to her Bon Temps farmhouse. It was the first time I had seen @AbigaleDawson since her wedding to @WereTDawson, who seems to have decided married life is an excuse to gain obnoxious amounts of weight. If I were less educated and knowledgeable on such things, I would have asked if he was with child. It seems fences are suiting them well, and if Abigale is happy, I am happy for her. I really don’t care whether the mutt is happy or not.

Someone who is undeniably with child is @Tara_ThorntonBT. She arrived, unsurprisingly, with her vampire escort, @fangtasiaserge, who I doubt is leaving her side at all in her delicate condition. I wonder if he, like me, finds himself remembering much too clearly a time when human women often didn’t survive the pangs and strains of bringing life into this world. I do not understand the vampires hostility towards me, though I suppose it could have something to do with coming to loathe his Maker and relishing in her second death, but I am also uninterested in finding out if it goes more deeply than that. As far as I am concerned, Tara is important to Sookie and what is important to my lover is important to me. We are, for lack of better words, “on the same team.”

Tara, it seems, is no longer able to endure the strain of tending bar and being on her feet for long periods of time due to her condition and has found employment outside the casino the vampires of Area Five hold a major interest in. She requested approval to vacate her job there, and with a single nod from Sookie, I gave the pregnant human my blessing. I find myself startled at how much I need and rely on her right now, when I am so uncertain myself, but I trust her and her judgment completely, without a second thought.

Tara’s cousin, @JustLafayette arrived with @HornDogJason and @BiancaNorthman. Needless to say, that is a trio none could have anticipated. Lafayette seemed uncomfortable, no doubt because many of the guests hosted that night possessed fangs that could descend at any moment’s notice despite Sookie’s inclusion of “no eating the guests” on the invitation for the event. It is safe to say I believe the fry cook has learned his lesson when it comes to the undead.

Jason, however, is as unintelligent and careless as ever. It is a good thing I trust Bianca with everything that I am and ever will be, or I would be positive he would be dead sooner rather than later. Bianca actually appeared demure and understated at the dinner, but that was by appearance only. I believe my child left the event with more phone numbers than she went in with, and propositioned half of those in attendance. Never let it be said she is shy.

@Sookeh clearly gets the ability to work a crowd from her. She arrived on the arm of @Sam_MerlotteBT, though “on the arm of” is somewhat generous since they both seemed mostly intoxicated. The Shifter was his normal cheery self, encompassing all he came into contact with a cloud of doom and gloom. While I am sure there are many things that should depress the Shifter to such a degree (a disgusting odor he can‘t hide, living in Bon Temps, residing in a mobile tin can, owning a bar for rednecks, etc.), he seems even more hopeless than usual. When even Sookeh seems startled by it, you know something is seriously amiss.

At least my evil daughter seems as evil as ever. Sookie seemed to spend a great deal of time chasing her around and reminding her not to destroy things because they had belonged to her Gran. Ah, Sookeh. So much destruction in such a small package. It is enough to make me unquestionably proud.

@NolanFerrior brought his human @NiftyJenny with him to the event and, at her prompting, informed me the pair is now “dating.” Nolan has always been somewhat unusual between his traveling in my trunk, his preference to dwelling in closets, and his predilection for sleeping on pipes, and it seems he has found his match in the broom wielder. Shortly after arriving, Jenny attempted to impersonate a plastic house plant before informing me the true love of her life is a machine at the @GrabbitKwik that produces a slushie.

I really have no idea what to make of that.

I should have asked @DavidCallum after he arrived with his attractive wife, @AlyxConway and their children, @SammieMasters and @ScarlettElena, but he was quite busy hitting on Bianca. I flashed him since he insists he is no longer dreaming of me after his ingestion of my blood during his brawl with Roman and despite him claiming not to miss them, I can tell he does. He really does.

In turn, Alyx flashed @WaylonLee_ and I. It is almost a shame Waylon makes such a good Pooh Bear, or I would seriously be considering turning my second two-natured child. As it is, I will be content to watch him eat everything in his path (including blood dishes which he seemed incredibly fond of), and using carrots to mimic fangs.

On a related, yet unrelated note, Sookie is not fond of me seeing breasts that do not belong to her. I cannot entirely understand this, since none compare to her own in my opinion, but I will do my best not to trouble her for such reasons.

@VampyJo arrived with @WereBabyLily and even though they were not able to stay for long, I was pleased to see them. Lily is getting so big so quickly, it is almost difficult to believe the little girl I carried around the party for a short time was the same one I spent locked in a room with for a few nights in New Jersey. I wonder if she remembers any of that. Human minds at such an age are a complete enigma to me.

@AngeloSenior arrived at the celebration with his human daughter, @GiannaVerdone. I believe Angelo signed my daughters chest, so when I next see him, I will possibly stake him. @AppiusOcella will be furious, but it would be worth it. Angelo’s own daughter pulled me aside at the party to offer me her thanks for giving her strange father my consent to leave my dwelling. I still fear that is possibly a mistake on my part and that Angelo took advantage of the daze that inevitably settles over a vampire so close to dawn, but I did not tell her such a thing. When we were parting, she hugged me as if we were not virtual strangers, and then propositioned me.

I chose not to tell Sookie this.

The arrival of @VooDooHooDooBT was unexpected, but thoroughly enjoyed by me. He brought with him Chow, who he has been keeping as a dung hut wife. The unintelligible witch doctor decided to show me his strengths, including his ability with a blow dart gun. I volunteered the Lieutenant to be the target, Joseph Drownapossum agreed, but when the dart flew, Lacey’s boyfriend Jack ended up being the one with a dart in his neck.

From that moment forward, I naturally claimed I had nothing to do with it.

Mr. Drownapossum also showed me his ability to call forth a donkey at will, and sure enough, @winnieYTM’s ass showed up in the middle of my lover’s living room. Sookeh had an ass there all her own. It’s a good thing Sookie was falling asleep by this point, or she no doubt would have been troubled by the livestock roaming her family home.

As the dinner wound down and Sookie slumbered at my side, I had the chance to speak to Lacey and David about both Lacey’s untimely end and the witches I encountered at Fangtasia. The description of the red-headed male seemed to ring recognition with her, and she confirmed as Roman had theorized, that he was the one who stole her purse while we were in New York City. David and I share a mutual concern for Lacey now, especially when she must protect her infant son, and have advised her to take shelter away from her home. I have contacted @LiamDelancy and instructed him to use his magic to secure her home and workplace, @HooligansClub, so she may return safely.

The Lieutenant let slip that Lacey’s return to this realm isn’t without change. She has acquired an ability to transport herself and others at a moment’s notice and demonstrated the ability when taking Sookeh back to her home. To say I am relieved is an understatement. Perhaps if the witches find her, she will stand more of a chance in escaping them than I did.

When all the guests left for the night, I cleaned up around my lover’s home and even remembered to put the remaining food away since Sookie is so often concerned about not letting such things go to waste. I carried her to bed and found myself relieved when it was only her and I, alone in her room, waiting for the sun to rise.

But overall, the event was good for me. I have never been so reminded of how important family is than I am now. Our bonds, both in blood and those we create through experience and common ground are invaluable. On the road of healing I find myself on, I believe Sookie’s dinner was significant. I am fortunate to have those who visited my lover’s home in my existence, and would not want to find myself in a world without them any longer.

What is your most memorable twitter experience?

I had to think on this question for a while before I felt ready to answer it. I have been gracing Twitter with my antics and giving all a peek into my existence for just over a year now. Many, many things have happened in that time. Many that I am fond of, many that I am not so fond of, but many are memorable to me. In the end, I could not choose between two as "most memorable," so I'll share them both.

The first would be the turning of my newborn, @NolanFerrior. It was something that involved a lot of thought and discussion, between Nolan and myself, between @pamiravenscroft and myself, between myself and @RomanLucious, and I even sought the opinions and feelings of some of Nolan's closest friends... @LaceyStripped and @AbigaleDawson.

Weeks were spent debating if I could or should sever the bond between Pam and Nolan in such a way, and a great deal of uncertainty hung over the event since Nolan was a Werepanther during his human life. I had never turned one of the two-natured before and wasn't completely certain he could transition to a vampire, but it was a chance Nolan was willing to take.

The night Nolan chose to die, the two of us along with some of his closest friends and associates gathered for his final breaths and said goodbyes to the human who would never walk the earth again. It was a difficult event, but one that will probably haunt those present for as long as they exist.

The second would have to be Dracula Night. Every year, Fangtasia holds a celebration in honor of @PrinceVladTepes's birth and this year was no exception to that rule. It is a well known fact that I am quite a fan of the Dark Prince and this year, I was certain the Master would grace my establishment with his presence, putting me in an even better mood than I normally have on the occasion.

I spent the evening in a whirlwind. I kissed each and every one of my guests, from @BarmaidSookie to @NiftyJenny to @TeacherHalleigh to @AlyxConway to @RomanLucious. I don't particularly like to talk about that last one. There was expensive blood for my vampire guests, unlimited drinks for my human guests, entertainment for all, and, of course, the Prince.

But possibly what was most significant was a mutiny that occurred on that particular night. My queen at the time, Sophie-Anne Leclerq, had attempted to set me up for a crime I hadn't commit and had been caught doing so. I had shown my Queen only unwavering loyalty, but it hadn't been enough. She wanted to see my Deputy and myself ended... and quite frankly, I couldn't allow for such a thing to happen.

I enlisted the help of Texas (@Stan_Davis) and California (@QueenBlackwood). I had always been close to Gabrielle and respected Stan a great deal. After learning what Sophie-Anne had intended to do to me, they agreed to help me end the Queen of Louisiana. When she arrived to Fangtasia's Dracula Night party with her child, Andre, Stan and Gabrielle ended the pair of them while Roman and I stood guard at the door. Louisiana became a territory of theirs, and Roman and I were the first to pledge our loyalty, which hasn't wavered to this day.

Ask a Viking vampire what inquiring minds wish to know.

Fairies, Fears, Diapers, and Death

@RomanLucious is a father.

Last night, the Deputy informed me that for the last month, he has been playing house with @FaeKayley after having kidnapped the infant child of a drug addicted prostitute. He killed the woman, destroyed her home, and took her son as his own. He has named the teacup Abel for reasons I never got around to asking.

Just that information was enough to leave my mind reeling for the remainder of the night.

I have always had confidence in the Deputy, he wouldn’t be my second-in-command if I did not, but I cannot help but wonder what possessed him to do such a thing. I asked, I could not help but ask, and I think Roman knew he owed an answer. What he has done is unthinkable. Our existence may not be the secret it once was, but that does not mean we do not have to practice caution. We are not humans. We stop being such a thing the moment our heartbeat ends. Roman gave himself over to our nature many centuries ago. The beings we are now are not what a child needs in this world.

The things this innocent and vulnerable human child will be exposed to are unthinkable. While they are second nature to us, no infant should know the death and destruction we revel in. No amount of concealment will keep this baby from seeing, hearing, and knowing more of this world than a child should ever have to.

Roman wanted to be a father though.

This, I can only understand. His confession, coupled with the pictures of the infant he displayed on his cell phone have left me regretfully reminiscent of my own mortal existence and the children I was forced to leave behind when @AppiusOcella took my heartbeat and with it, my humanity. How many times I ached to be with them, to watch them grow, to guide them as they became adults. How many hours I wondered of their well being, if they lived or died, if they thrived or found themselves lost after the loss of both their parents. I knew my own parents would protect and raise them to be great, but there was no comfort in leaving them as I did. There was no comfort in leaving them in a world of monsters.

But I had no choice. After all, I had become a monster myself.

I reminded myself repeatedly it was for the best I was forced to leave. Not only would I have endangered myself by returning to what I had known when alive, but I would be a threat to them without wanting to be such a thing. Those chapters had to be closed. My curiosity could not get the best of me. It was the only way they had a chance.

And what kind of a father could I have been? The vampire I am today is who I am meant to be. This nature is mine, and it is right. While I hope my sons became the warrior and fighter I was, I hope they never knew the savagery I prize myself on today existed.

That is what awaits @Baby_Abel. These are the things he will learn and know. There is no amount of glamor that will keep it from him. There is no amount of concealment that will let him keep the innocence of a child, an innocence a child deserves for the short time they are able to have it in this world.

The Deputy has already given the boy his blood. He intends to bond to him. I do not know what to think of this.

@BiancaNorthman and I inquired as to whether or not he fully understood the ramifications of his actions. I cannot imagine a pain greater than raising and caring for a human, a human who will age, know sickness, and eventually, death, all while we remain unchanged. Roman insists he will give the boy the choice eventually to join him in immortal death, but is that enough?

I have recently felt the unthinkable pain of losing a bond to death, of losing a human I intended on making my child. All it took was a moment… a mere second on her own and her life was over, and in her wake, I felt the pain. It is a blinding ache, an emptiness left behind one can never refill. A part of me, a part of everything I am and have done in my thousand years on this plane, was lost with the severance of the bond. I will never get that back.

While my Deputy felt such a pain as well, it was an ache for what might have been. It was an ache for what he has never known, in this existence or in his humanity, and I fear that is his reason for growing so close to this child so quickly. I fear his rash decisions that could have severe repercussions have never truly crossed his mind, and if they have, he has not given in to the urge to consider them.

He wants so badly to be a father. Can I fault him for this?

As much as I would like to, I cannot. While I was expected to father children when alive in order to add to our often dwindling numbers, it became much more than a requirement. There is a completion in being a father, just as there is a fulfillment in being a Maker. I try to picture my existence without the children I fathered in life and it is as impossible as picturing my eternity without @VampNiklas, without Bianca, without @pamiravenscroft, without @AnnaPPhillips, without @NolanFerrior, even without @VaughnBrennan.

Completely impossible.

Their accomplishments are my own. I have pride in everything they do, in everything they have become. Their errors pang me because they are my own failures. Their choices are testament to my role as a Maker, both good and bad. They are extensions of myself, extensions I cannot imagine never having had.

The mere thought of my existence without them is painful, lonely, and more dreary than words could ever express.

When I look past the clear, obvious, and severely detrimental ramifications of Roman’s actions, I can only say I understand. While I fear he does not truly understand how badly this can end, and while I fear if it does end badly, it will be the end of him, I can only support his decision with only a few reservations I will allow to linger. I have offered him all the protection of Area Five I can give, but is that enough?

He is but a baby. A human child. A breakable, vulnerable being incapable of protecting himself. And we are vampires, who know no depth we will not sink to, no pawn that is untouchable, no life we would not hesitate to end if it benefited us. Roman is a target just as I am. A target of other vampires, a target of other Supernaturals, a target for organizations of hate such as the Fellowship of the Sun. He will be for as long as he walks this earth.

So no, it is not nearly enough. I simply hope Roman knows this. I hope his fairy knows this.

More than that, I hope they truly understand it.

After all, I do. I have wondered if I should tell him of Niklas and of the selfish reasons that led me to turn him seven hundred years ago, reasons I have kept so silent for all these years. I do not know if it would help him, or if it would give him hope that may not be beneficial now. If he focuses on the tomorrow, will he ever be prepared for what he will face today?

Children seem to be finding more of a place with the undead. Roman is not the first vampire I have seen undertaking the role of a parent to a mortal being. Perhaps it is not so radical. Perhaps “leaving the coffin” has offered us luxuries we couldn’t afford when hidden.

I will admit, it has me wondering, and, as always, thinking.

I cannot help but be reminded of @AbigaleDawson and her fences, her desires to wed, settle down, and have children. It was something I could not offer her, despite my desire of her. It was simply not possible. I was not surprised when she found @WereTDawson who could.

But what of @BarmaidSookie? While I have always attempted to keep my humans at a distance, reminding myself I would tire of their entertainments long before such issues truly needed broaching, I find myself growing attached to her. We have not discussed the future in any great depths. It is a depressing, daunting prospect when we both are aware I will remain as I am eternally and she changes by the day. Still, the idea of her finding one who can and will give her the things I have always thought myself incapable of is painful.

Could I fault her for wanting the very things humans are expected to want? Things, it seems, even vampires desire whether we mean to or not? Could I fault her for finding someone who would give them to her if she wanted them with me, but I refused? Sookie has rejected me so many infuriating times, but never because of what I am, never because of my limitations. Could I, in turn, reject her because my limitations are not what I have always believed them to be?

Damn Roman for making me think this much about something I never thought I would need to think on again.

I hope he vomits on his fairy blood.

Belated Thoughts on Father's Day

Dear Journal,

I have never thought much of Father's Day. I believe the purpose of the "holiday" is to congratulate males for successfully impregnating females by producing offspring. It's a relatively recent invention, something within the last hundred years or so, but apparently it is openly celebrated and acknowledged by many. I have never celebrated one before. To be honest, I never believed I would, but for once in my long existence, I was wrong (and it's the first time that happened, I swear to the gods).

I owe my adventure into Father's Day to none other than @Sookeh. I know even you must be puzzled by how I have come to be Sookeh's father, dear journal, but I once informed her that I had bedded her mother (true story), and, long story short, it was decided I was her father. Of course, I am well aware I can no longer produce children and have been unable to for the last thousand years, give or take a few decades, but I must admit, I felt a kinship to the Evil One from the very beginning. Not only is she wonderfully evil and perverse, but she finds nothing sacred and no one untouchable. Add into that equation that she has inherited a posterior as well admired as my own and I will forever consider her my evil daughter. After watching @BiancaNorthman bond with her by performing more than a fair share of cruel acts on completely innocent parties, I am positive she is as much my own as anyone else living or dead can claim to be.

For that reason alone, when I found out she intended on throwing me a Father's Day celebration, I could only look forward to it... as much as one can when they worry animal sacrifices may be involved, anyway. After having my car dismantled by Sookeh's neighbors in the Evil Trailer Park of Doom during her baby shower, I have decided to be prepared for anything when it comes to her celebrations. I had never heard of this "Chuck E. Cheese" place the event was being held at, but I was far from disappointed. The event was something I will not be forgetting for as long as I remain only as dead as I presently am.

It has taken me a while to fully gather my thoughts on the event that unfolded in Shreveport that night. Truth be told, I am still reeling in some ways, but I can only imagine it will help me finalize some thoughts if I simply get the events out on paper now.

My night began, as most do, with Bianca. @EricsButt seemed to possess a mind of it's own almost immediately upon my rising, but my mind was focused on the approaching event. Before we left my home to venture to the venue, Bianca presented me with a gift I can only say made me smile. It was a first edition of Shakespeare's First Folio, a book that included the first printing of The Taming of the Shrew. That play will forever hold a special place in my silent heart and I know the same is true for her as well. I can remember word for word the message she wrote upon the card she presented me with now. "You stopped my heart from the moment I met you, long before you turned me. I could ask for no better Maker than you, and hope more than anything to be by your side forever. Never forget that." I really do hope I never forget that, even if I sincerely doubt it now and then.

Along with @BarmaidSookie, we made our way to Chuck E. Cheese where many guests had already gathered including @WereLee, @JustMakenna, @DeviousLucas, @TaliaPerrault, @RyderHard, @RomanLucious, @were_lucian, @SaraElle69, and @EmoPam. Even @PrinceVladTepes managed to show up in order to slay many of the amusement park-like games the establishment offered just as he slayed my washer and dryer (at least, that was what he did before breaking @pamiravencroft's arm and fucking Bianca at the party, but that is entirely another entry on it's own). @AbiStewart, who had already gifted me with a present that brought a smile to my face, blessed me with an additional gift by finding and dragging along my nearly-constantly downtimed newborn, @NolanFerrior. I was pleased to see my future progeny, @LaceyTB, among the crowd as well (though how in the future her turning will be is again, another entry all it's own). @CalienteChloe was hard to miss among the celebrators as well. I felt her eyes glued to my ass the moment I stepped foot in the oversized rodent's den. She seemed a strange mixture of happy and incredibly sad, but her situation is rather unique, to say the least.

For the first time since their births and the destruction of my last Corvette, I saw @AshnSugarbaby. Already they have gotten so big, sometimes it is difficult to remember how quickly tiny humans grow. At least, Sugarbaby has grown. Ash is a runt and a midget, one I am certain Sugarbaby, the obviously superior twin, will eventually consume. I have my fingers crossed she'll put the thing named after @DavidCallum out of his misery before they ever reach a year old. @VampyJo, who gifted me with tickets to a Colts game, brought her and the Were's infant, @WereBabyLily along as well, so there were teacups galore present. I was reluctant to let Sugarbaby go, but I made an exception when the giant rat hosting the event informed me I was needed upon stage for a present.

And what a present it was.

I've always had a bit of a- what is it human's call such a thing?- crush on @EmoEricNorthman's assistant. @KamanaLei's a fairy, what sane vampire could resist? And that was before being gifted with the performance of a lifetime. The fairy had gotten wind that I have a certain fondness for capybaras ever since Nolan was rescued by one after he was thrown into a gator farm by Roman and I, and @CapyBrier still follows me around from time to time. I was treated to a lap dance by the exquisite smelling fae all while she was wearing a capybara mask. It was something I had certainly never experienced before, but I have to admit it, I liked it a whole lot.

After the fairy lap dance, things got a bit hazy for me, as it tends to be when that intoxicating aroma hangs in the air. The giant rodent expired quite unexpectantly somewhere near the bar. I remember EmoEric presented me with a present of livestock and I couldn't have been happier. The next thing I remember, I was being covered in butter and pushed through a tunnel into a pit of primary colored balls. The haze remains until some creature arose from the depths of the pit and scared all the townfolk away on a quest for the Lieutenant. I sent her after the Deputy instead before grabbing my gifts and heading out myself with Sookie, Nolan, and Chloe in tow.

Note to self: Get something to transport livestock. When squirrels are passing my vehicle, something is not right. I hereby pledge never to drive at half the speed of squirrel again.

Once I got the livestock to cooperate enough we made it to Chloe's dwelling, she kissed my ass. I don't mean kissed it as it is normally kissed by the Deputy and the masses, I mean she literally kissed my ass. I wonder if it tasted of butter after that ball pit. Needless to say, it was quite a way to end my night.

After such an adventure, I am sure of a few things. One, the ball pit at Chuck E. Cheese contains horrendous secrets. Two, the capybara is superior to other large, alcoholic rodents. Three, Nolan really does need to wear a bell. Four, Sookeh will forever be my family.

I have landed myself in a predicament that entails a turning, or death, do you know of any vamp that has had this similar choice to make, and even if they did not want it, were forced into the change...Do they like what they are now?

Turning or death, there's really not much of a difference since they both involve an end. Every vampire in existence has had such a choice to make. Few of us that are older than the five years or so we've been "out of the coffins" were ever given the freedom to decide our fate, and there have been many vampires long past who have ended themselves because they preferred death to what they had become.

I did not choose this existence for myself. Had I been given the opportunity when I- quite literally- met my Maker, I imagine I would have chosen it, if only because I am not the kind who surrenders to death. I had no idea such a being existed as the one I became, but I adapted in time, and now cannot imagine anything else. This is my true nature. I do not desire anything but it.

I have made many vampire since I was turned. Most my age have. None of my children, with the exception of @NolanFerrior (and hopefully, eventually, @LaceyStripped) were given a choice in the matter, yet all of them have embraced this existence as much as one can, and that is the only reason they exist still today. One can educate themselves as much as possible, I went out of my way to prepare Nolan and Lacey for their turnings, but no amount of preparation ever truly can make such a choice easier. This version of death a vampire experiences instead of the simple end a human comes to expect is indescribable, and there is no anticipating it.

You would be hard pressed to find a self-loathing vampire. While I am sure there are some out there somewhere, we only last because we deserve to last, and you only deserve to last if you love what you have become and embrace it with every ounce of your being.

Ask a Viking vampire what inquiring minds wish to know

I Need a Vacation

The jobs of a Sheriff are never done. This past week has been a lethal combination of both busy and frustrating and to say that I am pleased it is now behind me could really be quite the understatement.

Golfing with @RomanLucious and @DraculaYTM was probably the highlight of my week (despite losing, which I will never acknowledge aloud), if only because it was the only night I was truly able to unwind. Bending that obnoxious gold putter of Andre's over the Deputy's head only really sweetened the event. The good is hardly what I need to get out right now, however. The frustrating matters are far more pressing in my mind.

@MadeJessica has been a nearly constant presence at Fangtasia and that has been the source of more than a few problems as of late. To say that I am annoyed that the newborn spends so much time on her own is putting things far more mildly than they deserve. @BeelCompton may not have been a Maker before, but all vampires know the responsibilities of one and when it comes to Jessica, he is failing. Of course, this really comes as no surprise to me. Compton is a fuck up who always seems to have his own (very boring) agenda, but that doesn't excuse completely disregarding his child. The girl is ignorant, uninformed, and entirely incapable of even the most rudimentary elements of being one of the undead. This week alone she has drained or nearly drained half a dozen humans. She has no control whatsoever, is incapable of glamoring, has no idea how to clean up her messes, and is constantly attempting to backtalk her elders. It leaves me perpetually torn between contemplating ending her and pitying her for the halfassed Maker she didn't desire nor ask for. I have to nearly constantly remind myself that not only is she new to this existence, the girl is a child by even mere human standards. Her immaturity and confusion is actually justified. The only thing that isn't is her Maker's seldom presence in her existence.

Her mistakes are costly. Early in the week, @TB_Sookie and Jessica made their way to Fangtasia to inform me there was a human in the hospital in Monroe covered in savage fang wounds that the media had gotten wind of. It was, of course, Jessica's doing. If an organization such as the Fellowship of the Sun heard about such a human, he would have become the poster child for their ridiculous propaganda. I do not know if it is commonly believed that vampires can clean such messes with ease or not, but it couldn't be further from the truth. Breaking into hospitals, stealing records, making certain security footage is obtained and erased, disposing of bodies... the amount of fangpower I've had to devote to cleaning up after Bill's child is ridiculous, but can I really fault her? At the end of the night, I cannot. She simply does not know any better and no one is teaching her otherwise. Teaching her is no simple feat either, however. When Roman and I attempted to instruct her in the proper way to glamor one of the living, our words fell on ears that couldn't bring themselves to pay attention. I keep reminding myself she has to learn and that it will take time, but these are things Bill should have started on long ago already.

The problems were only further compressed last night at @VampHadley and @Aidan_Berwick's reception following their elopement held at @Fangtasia_Queen's eststate in New Orleans. I'm not entirely sure how Jessica managed to get to New Orleans on her own, but she did, and while there, and while there, she managed to find a human she fully intended on draining. Thankfully, Sookie caught a fleeting glimpse into the intended victim's head and we were able to interfere before she had the chance to drain someone at the Queen's compound, but I found myself in near disbelief. The wrath she could incur for such blatant error is unthinkable and that didn't seem to register wither her whatsoever. Can I blame her? Can I fault her? When I look into her eyes I can tell she truly doesn't know. It baffles me. I forbade her from feeding on a human for the rest of the night and left her under the supervision of a demon who works in the Queen's service. Still, color me annoyed. These are not my responsibilities, despite being her Sheriff. These are Bill's and he should have been taking care of them long ago.

I shouldn't have been remotely surprised when I received a text message from the demon telling me Jessica was at Fangtasia. I should have known she would be more trouble than @NolanFerrior could handle on his first night in charge of the club, but unlike Compton, I have trained my newborn well and the faith and trust I have in him has been earned. It isn't simply so I can have a night to myself. I wasn't terribly surprised when shortly following I began receiving messages from @AbiStewart informing me there was trouble at the club. The trouble had spread outside my club, however. When I made the run to Fangtasia, I came across three fresh corpses in an alley not far from the entrance to my door, all showing clear signs of having been drained by a vampire. I knew immediately who was responsible and simply couldn't believe it. Does it even register with her the damage this behavior could cause? Sookie was attacked by the Fellowship on Sunday, taken within an inch of her life simply for being involved with the undead. Three corpses right outside my door says we are no better than the Fellowship says.

This behavior is jeopardizing my business, the soul income for my Area. It puts me and a position I have spent a thousand years earning in danger, it puts the vampires within Fangtasia and even those outside it at great risk from radical retaliation, it sends police and other law enforcement into my business... the list goes on and on. Mistakes I can tolerate, especially when the vampires responsible clean up after themselves, but leaving a trail of dead bodies almost directly upon my doorstep is inexcusable. Nothing seems to sink in. Warning after warning has been ignored. I am her Sheriff (though I wonder if she even knows what that means), not her babysitter. She attacked Nolan, threatened Abigale, and put my business in danger all after nearly making a mess of Area Five by leaving a corpse at the Queen's. It is time to make her understand the ramifications of her actions. With little reservation, I informed her I would see to it that Bill was not only informed of her recent actions, but punished for them. It is his duty to see to her training and to monitor her behavior. Her very existence was meant to be an obligation to Compton. There are many who would be infuriated to know their orders are being skirted and I can hardly fault them.

I realize the mere threat of reporting these things will no doubt incur me wrath from Sookie, but it is for Jessica's own good. I will possibly give the newborn one more chance to actually listen, but I am beginning to believe she truly is incapable of such a thing. Three dead outside of Fangtasia is risking more than I am willing to endanger.

Fucking newborns.