It Doesn't Make Your Crap Stink Less

Today is a sad day in the world of Twitter True Blood. The retirement of @SookieBonTemps and @LafayetteTB was entirely a surprise to me, as it was to many within the RP community that has grown and flourished on Twitter. I can only applaud both their work, work no one who RP's on Twitter can claim not to have been inspired by. The reason we have found an RP home and outlet on Twitter can be credited to them and their dedication to taking on characters we all know and love and bringing them to a world of 140 character limitations. They did so before it was popular, they did so without expecting anything in return. Their massive following, the recognition, and the support they EARNED throughout their time was the reward for their efforts, and I commend them and respect them infinitely for what they accomplished.

With this unexpected retirement, it's not a surprise the community at large is reeling, searching desperately for answers and explanations for what's happening. Fingers are being pointed, the past is being dredged up, and matters surrounding me have been pulled up to the surface and questioned. To be honest, I don't like it. I keep my personal, out-of-character drama to myself. The events and things being pulled up involve things that happened months ago, but since many people outside the situation are speaking of it and throwing around their theories, I feel it's only right to speak for myself.

A few months ago, I was approached by @Sookie_BT about playing the Eric to her Sookie in a group called TrueBlood On Twitter. At the time, she had an Eric, and I had a Sookie (@BarmaidSookie). It's no secret I am very involved in the @YieldtoMe group, especially since I'm technically it's founder, though I never initially planned on bringing it to Twitter. The person who plays @BarmaidSookie is my girlfriend, but she plays numerous characters on Twitter within my group. Sookie is a demanding character, one that takes up a lot of Tweeting time to be done properly, and we decided if she gave up playing @BarmaidSookie, that she could have a lot more time to focus on her other characters.

I spoke to other members of my group before finally getting back to @Sookie_BT. I made it clear I was an all-or-nothing deal. I would willingly replace her Eric and join her group if my partners came with me. I play a more canon Eric than one based on Alan Ball's creation. I didn't want to give up my Maker, my original-character children, my bonds, my daytime person, etc. I had spent months (half a year or more) building my character's story on Twitter with the rest of the YTM cast who had become friends both in and out of character. I was unwilling to trash that and them for a new group (one that was honestly just starting). Sookie understood and agreed to all my requests, and thus, @SheriffNorthman and the rest of my YTM crew became a part of True Blood on Twitter.

Shortly into things, I knew this would not be something that worked for very long because it wasn't me. I am more than willing to shoulder my blame in this whole fiasco. While I enjoyed a great deal of what we did while I was a part of the group, I was told during the True Blood season, entire segments of True Blood would be Tweeted as sketches. That is NOT me. I RP to press myself creatively, not to recite another's work. The "Twittersode" performed while I was a member of the group involving the Magister punishing Bill for negligence with Jessica was written by me. THAT is why I Tweet... to write my own stuff, to take a character I love and give him his own life (or unlife as the case may be).

Let me be clear, I'm not criticizing anyone. It just wasn't and isn't my thing, and I started to wonder if I had made a wise decision joining the group. Long before I left, I spoke frequently to @RomanLucious (who was playing the group's Bill at the time) and @BiancaNorthman (also @BarmaidSookie) questioning whether or not our style really fit in with the group we had taken on. I knew the main @SookieBonTemps cast had a tendency to do the True Blood episodes on Thursdays (though I only followed Lafayette and Pam of that group at the time). I worried we would be stepping on toes or fighting for the same audience. It was a strange predicament for a guy who's written his own, original material for as long as he's RP'ed to be in. I think my discomfort leaked into my Tweeting. I enjoyed what I was doing less as I worried about what the new season of True Blood would hold and who I would piss off by doing it.

Things only became worse for me personally as I was regularly told by the other, original members of the group that "HBO was watching us." I said it the fateful night I quit and still say it today. I don't care about RP'ing for "fame." I'm not RP'ing for HBO, nor am I RP'ing to have more followers than X character. I'm not looking for Facebook fame, it doesn't matter to me. I want my RP to be fun, something my friends and I can enjoy. Every follower I have, I am flattered by. If anyone else wants to read what I produce on a nightly basis, I'm honored, but I don't do it for anyone but me. The same was true for the other members of YTM. The fit wasn't good.

I was hospitalized after a pancreatic infection. It was a very, very scary event for me and my family, terrifying actually. I wasn't anywhere near Twitter while this was going on, obviously. I was barely conscious through much of it, but while I was gone, there was an implosion of both YTM and True Blood on Twitter. The Pam that is "mine," from YTM, @pamiravenscroft, was, in a way (intentionally or unintentionally, I won't get into) replaced for another. Anyone who knows me at all knows my Pam and I have a lengthy history. She's RP'ed with me for as long as I've RP'ed, six long years, and is a dear friend in and out of character. Pam was upset, she began RP'ing with @SookieYTM since she had essentially been cut out of my story.

When I was released from the hospital, I was asked to make my severance from Pam official. After much debate, I decided to quit. With @RomanLucious' blessing and full support, I quit for Bill as well. When it came to choosing between "HBO watching me" and my time-trusted friends, the choice was easy to make. We were already a poor fit, it was a final nail in the coffin (and I swear, that's not a vampire pun). I would rather RP nightly with a dozen people I consider both in character and out of character friends than have a hundred strangers applauding me for doing someone else's work. I will make that choice every single time. I didn't "fire" anyone from YTM either. No one was kicked out. I simply left the additional group I had joined (as did Kaleb).

After I left, I did a lot of thinking. I started following the main, @SookieBonTemps crew, to show I wasn't in any kind of competition. The whole time before, that's what I felt I was in, like I was competing for followers, for attention, for glory the very idea of is really ridiculous. Though I doubt any even realized I followed them or cared, I felt it was something I had to do. I hated the idea that something we all loved could be any kind of competition. The Twitterverse was and is big enough for us all, and I didn't like feeling like I had taken part in anything that implied otherwise. The feeling may very well have all been in my head, but it was how I felt.

I don't have an ounce of contempt for the TrueBlood on Twitter group, not toward a single one of them. When Eric and Bill were recast after our departure, I was not bothered. After all, I quit. What they do is just not what I do and for me to have continued doing it would have felt phony and wrong... TO ME. When I left, I wished them the best of luck, and I meant that. I still wish them luck. I regret that other Twitter groups out there were disrupted after I quit, but I had nothing to do with that. I wasn't replaced without my consent, I wasn't a victim, nor was I victimized. I don't know if all other members of YTM would claim the same, but that is where I stand. I've never mentioned any of the above before because I don't feel wronged, and actually dislike that I'm being labeled as having been wronged. If anything, I feel I wronged others and made an effort immediately following to correct that.

I hope the drama because of the sudden retirement of others quickly dies down, and that my own name is taken out of it. While I appreciate that there are others out there offering support, I'm not the one who should be supported. I'm not upset, I wasn't upset then, or I probably would have addressed it. I don't hold anything against @Sookie_BT or other members of her group who were there at the time I was. I really don't need anyone starting to say that I do.

Please remember, Twitter is a big place and there is enough room for all of us. Originality isn't a disease, there is no such thing as Twitter fame, and even if there was, it doesn't make your crap stink less. RP how you want, with who you want, so it makes you happy. When we turn this all into a competition of characters and websites, when we steal from one another, when we reward or condemn those who don't deserve it, we're only really ruining it for ourselves.